Life in the World

The floor-length sheer curtains swish as servers walk across the dining room. Quartz loops around the dim lights, casting a warm, intimate glow. I look around in awe, listening as other people discuss tastes and wine preferences with the waiter, and feel as if I'm peeking into a different world. I carefully swirl duck across my plate, trying to sop up every last bit of raspberry bourbon sauce, and I smile. I am happy to be here with my husband and enjoy this unprecedented weekend without our two oldest  children. 

Afterwards, we grab drinks at a tea lounge and drive home. My dirty vanilla chai propped on my knee, big chunks of boba shoot into my mouth as I sip and tilt my head to the ethereal strains of Purity Ring that blast through the minivan. And I think about the oddness of sitting in a fancy restaurant with applesauce smears on the polyester threads of my thrifted dress, looking into a world that is fun to experience, but knowing that it is not home. We've thoroughly enjoyed ourselves, but this is not our normal sphere of existence. I feel like a newlywed college kid again, stepping into a new life fresh-faced and naïve. 

An Open Book: April 2021 Reads

It's May! That means it's time to link-up with Carolyn Astfalk at An Open Book so we can chat about what crossed my bookshelf in the past month. It was a pretty fun mix of fiction and non-fiction, classic and contemporary. Let's dive in! 

Old MacDonald had a farm: a month in review

"I like our neighborhood," my four-year-old declared. "I like the way it sounds." 

He and my baby sat in my lap as we cuddled under a blanket on our porch. Hearing the chirps of birds, the occasional roar of airplanes, and the buzz of car motors, I asked him what in particular he liked. He shushed me, asking if we could simply sit and listen. Feeling chastened, I held my kids close as we sat and looked at our surroundings and listened to this beautiful world. 

I don't think I will ever stop getting excited over daffodils, especially
when we head downtown and are surrounded by big buildings and businesses. They always
find a way to grow and spread joy and brightness ;) 

I cannot believe it is already May, but the ingredients of Rootleaf stew are sitting in my fridge (in preparation for Star Wars Day on May 4) the Easter chocolate is dwindling, and a recent 80-degree-day reminded us that summer is quickly approaching. These past weeks of Easter have been packed with goodness, joy, and fun, but I am also hoping to grasp a slowness this month, now that much of the joyous holiday frenzy has subsided. 

Weaving is slow work--and that's a good thing

 "seven...seven...seven...seven..." I counted silently, focused as I wound string around the warping board on the wall. I counted and re-counted the strands: 33 burgundy, 49 black, 33 yellow. 

Surrounded by large wooden looms and hearing the gentle chatter from the handful of women who worked in the weaving studio, I was overcome with a sense of calm. I could stand here and methodically count threads all by myself! Without a small child asking me questions continually! I smiled and continued my work. Already, I loved weaving class. 

* * * 

Later that evening, I set down the threads of yarn and began to gather my things so I could leave. 

There's a lot of preparatory work in weaving, but when you get going, you just weave! And there's not much work to finish up at the end. It's all in the beginning, the instructor encouraged me. Two hours into my first class, and I hadn't even threaded the loom yet. But, that would come. I just needed to be patient. 

An Open Book: March 2021 Reads

Happy Easter! It's a new month, so I'm joining An Open Book to chat about what I've been reading lately. There are a lot of comic books, as well as a couple great pieces of fiction and a little nonfiction! Let's dive in. 

With Quiet Hearts

I gently rocked my baby as I stood in the church, dark save for the flickering candles that the members of the congregation held. The bonfire had been lit, the Exsultet had been proclaimed, and now we prepared for a marathon of Scripture readings that walk through salvation history. My pastor's voice rang out, instructing us: 

"...let us listen with quiet hearts to the Word of God."

And the question hit me: Can I listen with a quiet heart? 

A simple flower crown

As I herded the children into the minivan one day, I noticed the purple flowers (weeds) that had sprung up in our yard. Of course! This is the specific time they come each year! I grinned, and informed my children that we would make flower crowns...sometime, maybe later. 

That week flew by with errands and appointments aplenty, and before I knew it, we were driving out of town for the weekend. I looked at the patch of flowers and sighed, sad that we still hadn't made crowns. The next week came, and even though our calendar was emptier, a myriad of things occupied our time. Finally, on the Friday of that week, we went to a park for an informal soccer club. 

As I carried the infant car seat across the grass, I noticed that a section of the field had managed to escape the mower. White flowery weeds swished and swayed in the wind. The other moms followed  the children as they chased each other with soccer balls, and I plopped down. I eagerly pulled at the flowers and began winding and braiding them together. Soon, a flower crown perched atop my son's head as he raced after the soccer ball, declaring: "I'M KING OF THE SPRING!"

Let's Prioritize our Priorities

People will talk about the elaborate foods that they are making for or with their kids. 

I'll see an article with lists of seasonally-appropriate crafts or activities for families to do. 

I'll hear about all of the elaborate homeschooling plans that various moms in my area are crafting...and the mental battle begins. 

Why am I not doing these things too? I'll bemoan my lack of put-together-ness, my disorganization, and my low threshold for becoming overwhelmed with life. But then, I remember:

My priorities are not the same as those of my friends, neighbors, or random bloggers online. 

We expend time, money and effort on the things that are important to us--or do we? I've come to realize that I may know we all have different priorities, but I fail to act like it. All of the times when I compare myself to others and plunge into guilt for not being "that mom" are moments when I forget that all these wonderful things are good, but they aren't my priorities.

It's easy to see something beautiful, exciting, and worthwhile that someone else is doing and believe that we need to be doing that thing too. When we operate under this belief, we can may find ourselves forcing our lives to look like another person's without first questioning if we really want this. 

Open Book: February 2021 Reads

 Another month is here, which means it's time to talk books! I'm a little late on this post, because I spent the past several days powering through the rest of the book that occupied most of my reading time in February. Hop over to An Open Book to see more recommendations! 

Hello, Lent

The thought occurred to me as I slumped down the hall on Ash Wednesday evening: I forgot to do my chosen Lenten practice today. But...my baby didn't get down to bed easily, thus presenting me with the perfect opportunity to say my extra prayers. And yesterday, I think I may have forgotten altogether (baby girl recently acquired her first two teeth and is working hard to get more...so I'm drinking at least one cup of coffee every day now and have no memory). Basically, Kelly's post about how "You can do Lent" REALLY resonated with me today. 

We don't have a Lenten calendar, spiral (although I may do one next year, because they look awesome and seem like a great, simple visual for kids), or anything like that. We rang in Ash Wednesday with a cartoon about Lent and livestreamed Mass, because we've been living under piles of snow (praying for all of you in Texas!) and could not safely drive down our street. However, I'm finding that even putting a simple picture on our table has been a huge way to make Lent present in the life of our kids (my two-year-old, in particular, keeps talking about it). 

Yes, our now-withered Christmas poinsettia is still
in the house, because I am SO on top of life right now ;) 

I had been eagerly anticipating Lent, and was excited that this year, we would be able to walk through the whole season with our parish family AT MASS. No livestreams like in Lent 2020! So, starting off the season at home, following along with Mass on the computer, was not my ideal-but I guess it's a good way to jump right into the penitential aspect of the season. 

Is there really no such thing as bad weather?

 There's no such thing as bad weather, only bad clothing--so claim people who write from or about Scandinavian culture. If it's cold, just dress appropriately and go outside! Enjoy the beauty of nature in all weather and seasons!  

I have preached this message to friends and family, and I've often send my kids out into chilly weather for a quick run-around in the backyard before they come running back to the warmth inside. I personally enjoy a nice walk in brisk weather, as a slight chill nips my face and wakes me up. 

And yet. 

I huddle inside and watch the fluttering snow drift and sway above the ice-encrusted blades of grass. I dash outside only long enough to toss a bag of trash into the bin. I relish the crunch crunch of the ground under my boots, but I need to get inside. Yes, I am wearing "bad clothing" for this weather-shorts and a hooded sweatshirt do not lend themselves to tromping around in freezing temperatures-however, I also just want to be in the house. In the warmth, in the comfort. There's no such thing as bad weather, they say.