Last February at the online Catholic Writer’s Conference, I gave a talk about the importance of rest. One of the elements of rest that I discussed was “unproductive leisure" that does not prioritize productivity but instead focuses on resting and letting ourselves be rejuvenated in God. Unproductive leisure invites us to fully live in the present moment, to simply be.
As I spend day after day curled up on the couch with my newborn baby, my thoughts drift back to this concept. In our current American culture, this unproductive leisure can be difficult to pursue. Whether explicitly or implicitly, we often receive pressure to be productive and “get stuff done.” Yet, we are not robots with the sole purpose of creating products or performing certain functions; we are human beings, made in God’s image and likeness. When we rest and engage in unproductive leisure, we can remember our intrinsic worth and dignity. We also can remember that God invites us to rest in him.
Not only does this unproductive leisure benefit us, but it’s a witness to others; an encouragement that they, too, can rest. As much as I believe in the importance of rest, it can be hard to prioritize it at times. I’m grateful that some women I know have outright encouraged me to rest and really take it easy after having a baby. This precious postpartum time is an invitation into rest, and with each child that I birth, I plunge deeper into unproductive leisure.
I’m now four weeks postpartum, and it seems like I've barely left the boundaries of our home. My days are spent in prayer, nursing the newborn, reading books, and spending time with my husband and other children. Other than my daily “sunshine time” with the baby, where we sit outside in the fresh air, I spend a lot of the day in bed or on the couch. I’ve been living in my “postpartum uniform” of a skirt, a nursing tank top layered with a t-shirt, and a thick alpaca sweater. Slippers and new fuzzy socks—a gift from a neighbor girl who occasionally babysits my children—frequently adorn my feet. I’ve barely consumed any coffee (although I’m currently sipping some right now and it is delicious!) as I’ve instead craved tea, broth, or mugfuls of warm milk. I don’t think I’ve ever eaten so much soup in a month, either.
Our typical daily rhythm has been altered
slightly as we seize whatever moments of sleep we can get, but I’m not worried
about it. There will be a time to step back into our “normal” schedule, but now
is not that time.
I’ve sat with friends on my living room couch and shared my birth story, I’ve sipped coffee in my neighbor’s home as she held my newborn, and I’ve enjoyed endless newborn snuggles while playing games with my husband and other children. Together, our family has worshipped God at the Sunday liturgy and thanked him for all of his incredible gifts.
This time has been quite unproductive, and it’s been so good. I’ve had the physical and mental space to pray through and process my baby’s birth, to sleep, and to enjoy quality time with my family.
I went for a short walk with my kids the other day and was excited
to nature. Trees! Rocks! Bridges!
This week, I slowly began to emerge from my hermit-existence: a daily Mass, a park on another day, and a relaxed Thanksgiving gathering (where I did not have to cook!). Yet, despite my fleeting departures from the couch, I'm continuing to enjoy a largely restful schedule--and so have my husband and kids. After all, rest is something that we all can benefit from, not just postpartum women!
We all need to rest and let go of the millions of commitments and anxieties that crowd our brains. In the upcoming weeks of the holiday season, it is easy to grow overwhelmed with all the activities and obligations that fill our calendars. But, I wonder: What if we to rest in God? What if we let go of our desire to control everything, and instead relaxed and let God’s peace overflow our hearts?
Not only do we need to address the spiritual side of things and let God work in us, but there’s a practical angle, too; for deep rest does not often happen by itself.
I’ve been learning that we need to create favorable conditions in which we can rest. Months ago, there was an afternoon where the children were either napping or happily playing, and I had a little time in which I wanted to write. But, I couldn’t; I was mentally exhausted. Still wanting to take advantage of the peace and quiet, I chose to start making a postpartum preparation list. I figured that it would be better to make this postpartum plan before I was actually in late pregnancy and feeling overwhelmed!
I noted which specific meals and snacks I wanted to stock the freezer with, and when I wanted to start cooking these different dishes. I organized the recipes so that they would be available when I needed them. I also made a long list of the shows and movies that I wanted to watch during late-night nursing sessions with the baby. I also requested at least three months of “maternity leave” for a couple of different volunteer commitments.
It's amazing how helpful this short postpartum planning session as. When I was finally in late pregnancy and feeling exhausted and uncomfortable—but still needed to make freezer meals—I already had the recipes lined up. Yes, there were one or two late nights when I wanted to be sleeping instead of cooking in the kitchen, but all of my work meant that my freezer was full. I had underestimated how valuable it would be to have quart-sized bags of soup that I could thaw and eat at any time, day or night! When I finally had my baby and was awake late at night, a list of shows is already sitting on my computer, so I don't have to scrounge around the internet for something good to watch at 2 a.m.! The baby and I have been going through the anime Clannad-it's the first time that I've watched it since becoming a parent (I first watched it in high school, then watched it again in college), and the show continues to be excellent. All the preparation that I did makes it possible me to more fully enjoy this time of rest.
So, as we look to the holiday season, we should certainly pray and ask God to help us entrust all things to him so that we can rest. But, we also need to consider: What are practical ways we can simplify our lives? How can we prepare our homes and families and schedules so that we can more fully rest?
I hope that you all have a restful, peaceful
start to the new liturgical year!
The baby and I at four days postpartum, in our usual spot on the couch :)
For those of you who are preparing to give birth, here are a couple things I've been loving in this postpartum time:
This Beef and Roasted Eggplant Stew (by The Nutrition Doula) is fantastic. I made a huge batch with extra beef and ate big bowls of it (no rice necessary) for breakfast, snacks, late night meals, etc.
I'm also a huge fan of these Double Chocolate Lentil Muffins (by The Food Doula). I'm pretty sure I ate almost a double batch of them in my first week postpartum, and I'm probably going to make more soon because they were so good-and an easy way to eat lentils!
After I gave birth to my first baby, I did a little bit of belly binding, but with each additional baby it became harder to find the time and energy to twist and wind the cloth around myself. However, a nurse at the hospital gave me an abdominal binder that's much more convenient to use. I've been wearing it most days, and having that extra support is really awesome.
Finally, someone recently sent me the article "Postpartum Secrets from the Premodern World," (by Helen Roy) and a lot of it really resonated with me.
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