Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Assasins of the Toffee Monster, unite!

Yesterday, I threw a massive get-together of people before we all part ways for school. It was pretty awesome; I was able to talk with several people who I have not seen in quite a while, right before we part ways for the semester! In preparation for this party, my family and I had made A LOT of candy. We were going to have an "ice cream bar" with several toppings. One of the toppings was toffee. Well, we made the toffee a few days before, and had frozen it. But the toffee was in large slabs, and needed to be broken up into small pieces.

John Paul and I came to the table, armed with large sharp knives and dinner plates. We placed the toffee onto the plates, and began cutting it-or at least, trying to. My sister exclaimed in surprise; her dinner plate broke down the middle, due to trying to break up the toffee. Well, my mom came in, and instructed us to put the toffee on a jelly roll pan, and use rolling pins to break it down. It is here that the League of the Toffee Assasins was born. John Paul and I set out to kill the Toffee Monster. Breaking down the minions that made the Toffee Monster, we put forth much strength and many grunts. The Toffee Monster kept coming; more and more toffee appeared for us to break down. And the toffee was not easy to break down, it took several tries many times. But we did it; we broke down the toffee! Finally, we came to our last piece: the Mother Toffee. It was a perfectly formed triangle, with smooth swirls of chocolate. Innocent looking, but we knew that it was dangerous. It was from this toffee that all the minions came forth. The Toffee Monster set out to take over the world, and we needed to stop it in its tracks. Smashing down on the Mother Toffee, it broke into many pieces. Our task was done. Our hands and rolling pins were covered in "toffee monster guts," so we set about removing all traces of the Monster. Stealthily, we licked off our fingers and rolling pins. But that was not enough; traces of the Toffee Monster still remained. Hot water and soap proved to be the final foe for the Monster. The Toffee Monster was gone....or so we thought. About half an hour later, I was coming up from cleaning downstairs, and I happened to glance down. There, on my right foot, was a small piece of the Toffee Monster. In one last desperate attempt to prevail, the Monster had latched onto my foot, clinging to my body. I rebuked the Monster, rubbing it off with hot water and soap. The Toffee Monster was no more. The captives that we had broken up were later eaten, being destroyed by many people's appetites. Victory was ours!

Obviously, this was a much more exciting incident in person. Reading the account does not capture the grunts and insults that John Paul and I attacked the toffee with. Regardless, this incident does carry a great spiritual lesson: There is always toffee somewhere in the world; spiritual warfare is always present. Sin is always present. Demons are constantly at work. We must not sit idle and let them take over our lives! We must attack them with our rolling pins in hand, prayers on our lips! The monster, Satan, sends out his minions to sneakily enter the lives of people. Note: sneakily. The devil is not always blatantly obvious. He is way too smart for that! No, he works very, very sneakily. And even if you think that you have rooted out a particular sin with the "hot water and soap" of the sacraments, watch out--because Satan may still be trying to latch onto you. He hates holiness, and a growth in holiness angers him, it can spur him on to attack you. Be wary of the toffee latching onto your foot--of the devil sneakily entering your life, so you don't even notice him at first! The value of a good Examination of Conscience is huge! "The unexamined life is not worth living," said Socrates. How true indeed! We must daily be examining ourselves, seeing our weaknesses, our faults, so that we can ward off the attacks of the devil! Take courage, for God is on your side! Be a demon hunter, finding the demons that try to make their way into your life, and send them packing!

"Put on the full armour of God, so as to be able to resist the devil's tactics." ~Ephesians 6:11

1 comment:

  1. You are so very entertaining, my dear! It was lovely to see you last night!! If I don't see you dancing, then have a wonderful time at Fransican!!! Good luck!