The other day, I ordered a print from this woman's Etsy shop as a gift for a friend. I hadn't looked at her art for a while, and I thought, "wow, I bet she has a cool story or two to share." While falling asleep that night, I suddenly had the idea that I wanted to interview this woman, because I wanted to have her words recorded where I could go back to them. I then realized that the whole world-not just myself-can benefit from this woman's story. So, out of the blue, I messaged her, and she was gracious enough to share her heart, soul, and story with vulnerability, humility, and love.
Today, I bring to all of you the story of Camille, who operates Etched into my Soul. This story is one of suffering, redemption, healing, and hope. It is a story of God's work. We see that God truly equips us with the tools necessary for His work-the young artist I interviewed has only taken one still-life drawing class in her life, yet she creates gorgeous paintings to further God's glory. This story has moved me to tears MANY times, as my heart and soul are touched so profoundly by Camille's words. I pray that you allow God to touch you through this interview, and that you open yourself up to His grace and healing!
Camille, thank you so
much for blessing us with your presence! Could you please tell us a little bit
about yourself?
My name is Camille Aubrey Teresa Mica (Teresa is
my confirmation saint name, after Blessed Mother Teresa), and I am 22 years
old. I am from Texas and have an amazing, loving, supportive, expressive, and
quirky family – I have awesome parents, a twin sister, and two younger
brothers. I am a Catholic Christian, and I graduated from Franciscan University
of Steubenville in 2015 with a BA in Clinical Psychology and Theology. I love
learning, praying, Scripture, reading, psychology, nature, the arts (visual arts,
dance, drama, music, writing), nutrition and natural/holistic healing, and
serving others in the small ways that I can.
Along with these other passions, my calling is
to work in the anti-human trafficking movement, serving survivors of
trafficking, abuse, poverty, and commercial sexual exploitation. I’ve been
involved in the movement for a few years now, and in a few months will be
starting my new position in San Diego as COO of Children of the Immaculate Heart, a Catholic
non-profit anti-trafficking organization, working to oversee and develop a new
residential treatment facility for girls (ages 8-18) who are survivors of human
trafficking. I hope to continue my education through graduate school in
psychology/psychotherapy and/or integrative/natural medicine, along with
training in trauma and somatic and expressive arts therapy.
How did God lead you to
create gorgeous paintings and start up your business, Etched into my
Soul?
Well, for about 6 years now, I've been
struggling with many health/medical issues (which my newest integrative doctor
thinks are due to parasites), and for years have been experiencing intense
pain, especially in my abdominal/pelvic areas, along with constant digestive
issues and hormonal imbalance. At one point, I even had to leave college in
Steubenville for a year, because I was overwhelmed and needed to be home to
receive medical treatment for some of the issues. During that time at home, I
underwent a surgery, and it took a long time to recover. I had a lot of time in
stillness, peace, quiet, reflection, and prayer, despite much discomfort and
pain.
Suddenly, God started giving me images and visions He wanted me to
paint, along with Scripture verses. Scripture and art (in all its forms) have
always spoken to my heart. So, I had no clue what I was doing, but I started to
draw and paint these images and write the Scripture verses in calligraphy. Over
the past few years, God has continued to give me more images to paint. Once I
had completed quite a few, I decided to assemble them into a collection and
start an Etsy art “business.” I’ve donated many, sold just a few on Etsy, and
also sold some in person at a festival.
The name of my art collection, “Etched into My
Soul,” comes from a poem I found on a scrap of paper while I was trying to
think of a name – I had written it probably months to years earlier, during a
time of suffering. Here is the poem:
Oh God,
With this suffering, You
are filling in the gaps of my story
These scars will be
the artwork etched into my soul
Beauty in my brokenness
a heart beating only for You,
A life dependent utterly on You.
Wow. That poem is
amazing, and so profoundly beautiful! What an incredible mission and gift from
God. Now, I'm really curious-on the practical level, what is the process of
creating a painting like? Approximately how long does the process of
painting one of your images take? I’m not artistic, so I have no concept as to
what this looks like J
Sometimes, I am given both an image and a
Scripture verse. Other times, either the image or passage will come first, and
I must pray or think of an image or search for the right Scripture passage.
Many of the paintings came out of times of great suffering, moments when I cried
out to God, even asking him to just take my life so I wouldn't have to live
with the pain anymore, yet clinging to him in everything... or praying and
crying out for others who were in great distress and suffering. Sometimes, the
images just come to me when I am praying with Scripture. Other times, the ideas
come suddenly, seemingly out of nowhere.
The process of creating a painting is actually
very intense at times! I never quite know how I'm doing it (especially because
I have no art technique whatsoever) - I just know that it's really hard and
intense work, yet I also rely on Him to make it happen, and it often looks
quite rough until it's finished.
I start out by having a family member or friend
model for me, and I take photographs. Then, I make a basic sketch on canvas
paper, and finally I paint with acrylics. Usually I can only do bits at a time,
and I can’t work for more than an hour or two at a time. My eyes get fatigued
quickly, and I find myself painting without good focus or eyesight, and then I
have to make myself stop for a while. Sometimes, I finish the paintings
quickly, in days or weeks. Other times, it might take weeks or months. Often, I
will listen to music while I paint. I am talking to God, praying, and depending
on Him basically the entire time. I sit down, stand up, make faces, and
sometimes get a bit excited or nervous because a few strokes can really make a
big mistake that is hard to repair. But despite the intensity, it is so
nourishing to my soul. With His grace all things are possible.
Is there a cool story
behind one of your paintings?
When I was still at home during my year
away from college and in the beginning phases of my painting work, I would
sometimes imagine my art being used by a Franciscan University household
[editorial note: FUS households are faith communities somewhat akin to
sororities/fraternities, which place a focus on prayer & ministry] as an
image to inspire devotion in a common room on campus. At the time, I didn’t
even know I would be returning to Franciscan University. But it was a nice
thought, a wish, so to speak. A year or so later, when I was back at
Franciscan, I was approached by a member of the Seraphic Valor household, who
wanted to buy a poster print of my piece entitled “Inscribed” (which seems to
be a favorite of many people). The household actually bought the art print and
hung it in their common room! It was a dream come true.
How do you convey hope
(healing, redemption, etc.) as you create your paintings?
My work captures a profound mystery of suffering
that is often difficult to remember when in the midst of suffering. If you
observe the art, you see that it is very physical, and very personal. It
involves pain and suffering, hands, faces, touching, holding, clinging,
carrying, intimacy. It conveys surrender. And here is the reality:
God touches us, He carries us and holds us in our suffering.
Psalm 134:18 says that “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted, and saves the crushed in spirit.”
He is with us. And furthermore, we in a deep
sense touch God in our suffering, we cling to Him, hold onto Him, rest in Him
as our hope. And if we accept His hand reached out to us, if we surrender into
His arms and allow Him to hold us, we can join with Him in our pain and
suffering. Thus, we not only find hope in Him; for, when we are united with Him
as members of Christ’s Body, we can also share in the self-sacrificial
suffering of Christ, His work of redemption. Here our suffering is transformed
into something beautiful, something powerful and meaningful. I believe that
finding meaning in our suffering is a profound step toward wholeness, toward
healing. This mystery is a truth spoken of by the saints; for example, St. Paul
(Col 1:24), St. Maria Faustina, St. Therese of Lisieux, Blessed Mother Teresa,
etc.
Are there any particular
saints whom you invoke in this process of painting?
I have several saints I try to invoke daily,
especially Mother Teresa, Mary, and St. Bernadette. Usually, during the process
of painting, I am speaking directly with God and especially the Holy Spirit.
Often, I will be using words in my painting from Scripture that were uttered by
a particular holy person or saint – for example, David, The Blessed Virgin
Mary, St. Paul, Isaiah, St. Peter, or St. John – and I will be praying or
thinking these words in my head. In this way, I am in communion with the
saints. I find myself praying for those whom the painting may serve
(trafficking/abuse survivors, those in depression, despair, or struggling with
suicidal thoughts). I also find myself praying the words from Psalm 90:17: “Let
the favor of the Lord our God be upon us, and prosper for us the work of our
hands— O prosper the work of our hands!”
How has art (and
specifically, painting) played a role in understanding the process of
suffering, healing, and hope?
Wow, so much. I have had the blessing of
seeing how my suffering was transformed, in not just a spiritual but also a
literal, tangible way, into beauty. If I had not been home and struggling with
health issues, I don’t see how these paintings would have happened… God’s will
is so above mine and His plans so far beyond what I could imagine (Is.
55:8-11). Many of my paintings arose during specific times of suffering for me,
and they served to help me cope with my pain and find meaning, along with
giving expression to the meaning I found in Him.
For example, once, when I was in so much pain
that I asked the Lord to take my life and I wanted to die, I saw myself
clinging to God out of the depths of my pain – thus came one of my original
paintings, “My Soul Clings” (with a hand reaching out of raging water and
holding onto the arm of God).
Another painting came to me when I was lying
down in pain at one point this summer, unable to eat or enjoy the family meal,
crying to God and seeking to surrender everything to Him. I closed my eyes and
saw a face (maybe mine?) with a tear rolling down the cheek, eyes closed, being
held by Him, resting in His hand, and He said, "My grace is sufficient for
you, ... for my power is made perfect in weakness... (2 Cor. 12:9)" And I
knew I had to paint this image – it is now captured in my piece, “My
Grace.” Art has helped me find and give expression to the hope and healing
Christ brings in the midst of suffering.
How do you hope to reach
others through your paintings?
I hope that when others see my art, they
are drawn in and encounter the healing Word of God spoken in the depths of
their soul, in image and color and light, not only verbally. I hope they see
how God is working in their own lives in a concrete and unique way; how He is
always there, and how Christ has suffered-and is suffering-with them. I hope
they recognize and experience how they are being transformed and made new
through the pain and the fire and the storm. I hope my art is an opportunity
for an experience of surrender, hope, and peace.
Have you been able to
see God work in someone’s life through your paintings?
So far, I've been able to donate quite a few as
gifts to women suffering from commercial sexual exploitation, and to survivors
of sex trafficking. What a gift it has been to see so tangibly how He can
inspire hope and spiritual insight through my work. My last year at Franciscan
University, I was able to give several of my prints away as gifts to some
friends of mine from Steubenville: women who had struggled with the commercial
sex industry and prostitution, whom I had met through ministry.
I was amazed that out of the 10 or 12
possibilities, they chose the same print – the painting based on Ezekiel 36,
called “Heart of Flesh,” in which God’s hand is holding a broken, stony heart,
and recreating it into a heart of flesh: a bleeding, feeling, and living
heart. It was so humbling for me to see the Holy Spirit using my art to do
what my words alone could not, to minister and speak into their lives and
hearts in deep and profound ways, to give hope of re-creation and newness of
life in Him. Their hurt and scarred, hardened hearts-and mine too-were being
broken and made new.
You have been a huge
example to me in all of the work that you have done to spread awareness of
human trafficking. Do you bring your passion for helping these women into your
artwork in any way? Does Etched Into My Soul have any kind of connection with
your work to fight trafficking? Do any of the proceeds from your work help
these women?
I think of and pray for the victims and
survivors of human trafficking often when I am working on my art. I hope to
continue donating art pieces to women struggling in the commercial sex industry
and survivors of human trafficking, as I have in the past.
Furthermore, I have used money earned from
Etched into My Soul to help fund previous work and ministry with survivors,
especially my internship with Redeemed
Ministries. In the future, I might
try to write a book compiling Scripture, meditations, poetry, therapeutic
expressive arts practices/activities, and possibly my art to help survivors of
trauma and abuse, especially sexual abuse and trafficking, on their journey
toward healing, wholeness, and integration. I would love to use this work even
for the girls in the new residential treatment facility for human trafficking.
Presently, the money I earn helps me to save up
for graduate school and for living expenses in San Diego, which will of course
help me to fulfill my ministry through my position at the residential treatment
facility for survivors of human trafficking. Furthermore, since I have
donated so many of my art pieces to victims and survivors of trafficking,
commercial sexual exploitation, abuse, and poverty, the proceeds I now receive
through sales help to cover the costs of all the donations! It is as if
purchasing an art print from me helps me be able to donate artwork to survivors
of trafficking and sexual exploitation.
Wow, your words and
story blow me away! Do you have anything else you want to add?
I just want to say that art has a profound way
of speaking and healing. Look at David’s poetry and songwriting, for example!
And I also have to say that God desires for us to discover and use our gifts
from Him, for His glory and for our growth and for reaching out/ministering
to/serving others, especially the poor and vulnerable. There is so much poverty
today in many different forms – how are we called to reach out and make a
difference? We are called to be co-creators with God – here is one way: To
reach into the depth and sacredness of our own personal spiritual experiences,
and share them with others through artistic means.
And, because everyone needs to have St. John Paul II in his or her life, here's an awesome quote on suffering & hope from him!
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