To be healed and to serve (some Sunday thoughts)

"On leaving the synagogue Jesus entered the house of Simon and Andrew with James and John. Simon’s mother-in-law lay sick with a fever. They immediately told him about her. He approached, grasped her hand, and helped her up. Then the fever left her and she waited on them." (Mk 1:29-31)

During this ongoing pandemic, and with one of my boys struck with a bad cold (which he lovingly shared with his baby sister as he breathed in her face and smothered her in cuddles and kisses), the section of Mark's Gospel from today's Mass is timely. Not only is Simon's mother-in-law healed from her fever, but the chapter goes on to describe the many healings that Jesus conducted, both physical and spiritual. 

As I stood in my pew and listened to the deacon proclaim these words, I wasn't struck by the healings and exorcisms, as marvelous as they are. Instead, the response of this one woman looped in my mind. 

"...and she waited on them."

Simon's mother-in-law, once healed, seeks to serve. I cringe to think about all the moments when my response is the opposite. 

It's easy to act like Roy, but that doesn't make it OK

Pam Beesly is having a challenging time at the office. It's Valentine's Day at Dunder-Mifflin, and she has to watch her coworker, Phyllis, receive gifts all day long. But Pam hears no word from her fiancé, Roy. She doesn't receive any flowers, cards, or notes. She certainly doesn't receive an obnoxiously huge teddy bear. Nothing. Sure, they had agreed to not buy each other any big gifts, but Valentine's Day gifts-as Pam points out to Dwight-are about "doing something so that the person knows you really care about her." 

When Roy comes to meet Pam at the end of the workday, she tells him that she's upset about not receiving anything from him. Roy, in response, says: 
"Well, Valentine's Day isn't over. Let's get you home, and you are gonna get the best sex of your life."

At these words, Pam does not look thrilled. I think I can understand Pam's feelings in this episode of The Office. Roy pretty much ignores her all day, and when he does come up to talk with her, the one thing on his mind is sex; he has no thought or concern about what she actually wants or needs. His words and actions (and lack of action) portray an attitude of selfishness, of self-gratification. The way he approaches their entire relationship is pretty much summed up in this scene, and it's disgusting to see Pam treated in this way. Do you know what else is disgusting? All of the times that I act like Roy in my relationships with other people and God. 

Thoughts for a Tuesday Morning

I sat at a table, tutoring some unknown man in science. As we sat and reviewed his science notes, he kept pointing his finger at a line that was written in my notebook: "Love is at the center of who I am." Over and over, he repeated this phrase. 

When I rolled out of bed, bleary-eyed, the words of this dream echoed in my mind. 

Dreams are funny things. Why in the world was I tutoring someone else in science? It's never been my strong subject. Who was this random person I was tutoring? And why would this phrase be written in my science notebook? I really don't know the answers to these questions. In fact, the only reason why I recall this dream is because I made mention of it in my writing notebook. 

Dear Milk Chocolate, We Need to Talk

Dear Milk Chocolate,

We need to talk.

It’s almost Valentine’s Day, and as people around the nation flock towards you, I’m sure you’re expecting me to do the same. We’ve been together for quite some time, and you seem pretty committed to our relationship. I wish I could say the same about you. I believe in being straightforward, so I’m not going to beat around the bush.

Some Thoughts during Suicide Prevention Week

It's National Suicide Prevention Week. A year-ish ago, one of my friends from college started posting very startling things to social media. Many of us who know this person connected so we could pray and encourage this friend to stick around on Earth. Thanks be to God, this friend is still around and brightening the world with a presence and prayers :) After this whole incident, I began thinking about how sad it is that a few people (like myself) had let this one friend slide by, not really communicating until we saw things go way downhill. 

I'm not a psychologist, psychiatrist, or an expert in anything, but I know that this is not the way to do things. 

Fasting for Love (Over at Chastity Project)

Hello, friends! I hope that you are all having a great day. 
We are almost through the workweek, isn't that exciting???? I-like many of you, I'm sure-have a bunch of loose ends to tie up today and tomorrow in preparation for the weekend (I'm going to do a sewing marathon, and I'm very excited!). So, I can't launch into any tangents about my random adventures today. Instead, you can find me discussing the importance of sacrifice in relationships over at
Chastity Project: Fasting for Love. 

I'm off to pre-wash fabric and tackle my "To Do" list now :) I hope that your day is full of blessings and joys!

Let's Make Holy Week Epic

Happy Monday, everyone! I hope that you all had a splendid weekend. I certainly did-my husband and I played at a Catan tournament, met awesome people, celebrated Palm Sunday at our parish, and we watched the first two episodes of Daredevil season 2!!!!!! So much craziness in the show already, and I'm dying to watch the next episode. So, not watching it while my husband is at work is a good sacrifice to make! 

This week is especially good for sacrifices and prayers because it is Holy Week. 

Changing our perspectives for Valentine's Day

Hi, everyone! Happy feast of the Conversion of St. Paul! St. Paul is super cool, and I love reflecting on his words in the New Testament. Sometime, I might will have to blog about him. In the meantime, I'd like to talk about Valentine's Day. 

Wait. Hello??? It's January. Why are you talking about Valentine's Day? 

My friend, in case you haven't noticed, I want to inform you that people love preparing for holidays way in advance. So for weeks, Valentine's Day candy and decor has been abundant in the store. And yes, I have begun to see social media posts about Valentine's Day. So, I think it's high time to discuss this annual celebration, especially how we view it.

Could I have Maroon 5 and JPII over for dinner?

You know how sometimes different people create their "dream dinner party lists" of individuals they would love to have over, no matter when those people lived? Recently, I was thinking about this trend, and I decided that it would be marvelous to have St. John Paul II and the members of Maroon 5 over for a dinner party with my husband and I. We could all bond and become friends over bierocks and cheesecake, and in the course of our  conversations, Maroon 5 may pick up some cool wisdom from JPII. Wouldn't that be great? 

"These scars will be the artwork etched into my soul." Discussing Suffering, Healing, & Hope with Artist Camille Mica

When I was a freshman in college, there was this one particular woman in my Theology class. She seemed pretty nice, and her big eyes always twinkled with peace and joy. We lived in the same dormitory, studied together a few times, and shared some meals in the cafeteria. Occasionally, I would join in our school's Monday night homeless ministry, and this woman would always be there, totally present and overflowing with love, joy, and grace for all of the people we encountered. Whether in classes, meetings, in the hallway, or at an anti-trafficking event that she organized, an encounter with this woman was always  an experience of God's love. 

The other day, I ordered a print from this woman's Etsy shop as a gift for a friend. I hadn't looked at her art for a while, and I thought, "wow, I bet she has a cool story or two to share." While falling asleep that night, I suddenly had the idea that I wanted to interview this woman, because I wanted to have her words recorded where I could go back to them. I then realized that the whole world-not just myself-can benefit from this woman's story. So, out of the blue, I messaged her, and she was gracious enough to share her heart, soul, and story with vulnerability, humility, and love. 

Today, I bring to all of you the story of Camille, who operates Etched into my Soul. This story is one of suffering, redemption, healing, and hope. It is a story of God's work. We see that God truly equips us with the tools necessary for His work-the young artist I interviewed has only taken one still-life drawing class in her life, yet she creates gorgeous paintings to further God's glory. This story has moved me to tears MANY times, as my heart and soul are touched so profoundly by Camille's words. I pray that you allow God to touch you through this interview, and that you open yourself up to His grace and healing! 

How Board Games Help my Marriage (and Pope Francis' Challenge for Us)

Marriage is awesome. It’s so great to be living out the sacrament and vocation each day, experiencing all these awesome graces from God to bring my husband closer to Heaven. But you know what another awesome perk of marriage is? I always have a playmate. Settlers of Catan, Risk, Monopoly, Agricola: All Creatures Great & Small, Legendary, Innovation, and Chess, to name a few, often slide into our free time. We both just really like board games, but these games have a greater meaning for me than their face-value awesomeness.

Many times, it seems that married people just get busy. Whether it is children, college classes, work, or individual activities, spouses can begin to lose intimate time together. We’ve never had kids (and I’m not pregnant), but I’ve been told that children need a lot of time and care. However, it really made an impression on me when, a few years ago, my Christian Marriage instructor told the class that he and his wife reserve a “date night” once a week. Yes, they have about 5-6 kids (many of them young), but he and his wife saw the need to prioritize their relationship. As many of you know, my husband and I were married a couple of weeks before we began our junior year of college. While college classes, homework, extra-curricular activities, households, and volunteering could have easily eaten up chunks of our precious time, I found that married life was so peaceful. Instead of being mega-involved in EVERYTHING (which was how I had previously lived), we took a step back. We volunteered a little bit, were involved in faith-related activities, and we were involved in our households a little.

And we played board games together.

Two Things That a Blue-Faced Alien Taught be About Relationships

Happy Pentecost!!!!

Happy Pentecost from the Boise airport!!!!!!

Today, I feel like I could be in The Terminal. My husband and I are in the process of traveling from Ohio to Washington, and our flight plan has included many long layovers in the airport. I seriously have been thinking about how cool it'd be to befriend all of the people who work here and make myself at home (especially the people who manned the desks at the gates in the Minneapolis airport; they were all super cool. They would talk to each other across the room over the microphones, crack jokes to us passengers while we waited to board, and were very nice to all of us). So I've been praying and hanging out with my husband, having great conversations with lots of random people (the Solemnity Hat has been a wonderful conversation-starter today), reading Nicholas Nickleby for the first time (highly recommend it so far!), and now, in the last couple hours of our final layover, catching up on a blog post that I've been meaning to write for a couple of weeks. A few weeks ago, we re-watched Guardians of the Galaxy. It was the second time I've seen the full movie, and one of the same elements jumped out at me. So I feel the need to share my thoughts with y'all, if you wish to read them! 

"Welcome to the Nerd Lab." The Epicness that is "Big Hero 6"

On Friday night, after enjoying a leisurely dinner with my household sisters, I trekked over to “Disney Friday” (an event created freshman year by one of my friends, which, as you may guess, involves watching a Disney movie on Friday). I had been invited to watch Big Hero 6. I saw a preview for this movie several months back, and I thought it looked weird. And somewhat dumb. I wanted to watch it, but was not too sure about how good the movie would be. But, my friends were showing it, and I wanted to hang out with them (and watch it), so I scurried through the chilly night air towards Trinity Hall. The enthusiasm and joy of my friends was contagious, and I could not help but be excited for this movie. I didn’t know the plot, I had no clue what to expect (except a gigantic marshmallow-looking thing that I remembered from the preview), and I didn’t even know if I would like this movie.

Well.

I laughed crazy hard. I nearly cried. The epic soundtrack resonated in my heart. And I was blown away by the beautiful exhibition of sacrificial love in this movie.

This movie hits you hard. It is hilarious and uplifting, but it gets raw and real, forcing you to watch things that hurt so bad—because you see the good, the bad, and the ugly in fourteen-year-old Hiro’s life, and you can realize,“hey, I go through these same things, in slightly different ways.” This movie helps you to look not just at Hiro’s life, but at your own life, and to see how hope, redemption, healing, and sacrificial love can always shine a bright light into the darkness of suffering.   

If you haven’t seen the movie, please—go watch it. It is well worth your time. It has a bit of darkness that took me back to Up, so if you have young children, you may want to be sensitive to this fact. There are also a couple of sexual references in dialogue, but it overall is a very clean, wholesome film. And hey, if you screen it before showing the movie to your kids, you have an excuse to watch it twice! So leave this post behind, watch the movie, and come back later if you so desire.

If you have seen the movie, then feel free to continue reading.

SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SO MANY SPOILERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Healing. So Hiro doesn’t have parents (because hey, this is a Disney movie, and since when do they let a main character have both parents for an entire film?), and then he loses Tadashi, his brother. He shuts out the world, his aunt, and a college career (and the nerds from college!) and doesn’t want to tell Baymax of his deep pain. Before Hiro has worked through his sorrow, grieved, and started to heal, he acts out of vengeance, rage, and deep pain. He has no mercy for Callaghan, and certainly no love or justice. But Hiro ultimately sees the importance of admitting the deep pain and loss that he has experienced. It isn’t until he has let himself grieve and admit his need for healing that he can be healed. Then, when Hiro has begun to heal, he can find true peace and properly battle Callaghan out of true justice and mercy. The true strength that Hiro finds when he has more peace in the midst of the craziness of life totally reminds me of something cool that I read the other day. So, for Lent this year, I’m praying through this epic little book that a friend of mine gave to me a couple weeks back: Searching for and Maintaining Peace, by Fr. Jacques Phillippe. And there’s some coolness that Fr. Phillippe speaks about regarding the interior peace that we must strive for: 

 "The Christian fights, then, against sin, with violence sometimes, called as he is to keep fighting to the point of death (Hebrews 12:4), but he fights with a peaceful heart and his struggle is that much more efficacious, because his heart is more peaceful. For, as we have said, it is exactly this interior peace which permits him to fight, not with his own strength, which would be quickly exhausted, but with the strength of God.”

Community. Yes, Baymax is a robot. But he’s awesome—and he helps Hiro experience community. Baymax shows us that things get rough in life, and when we go through suffering, we should surround ourselves with a community of love, instead of isolating ourselves. Let’s pause and take a quick look at St. John Paul II’s words (I bolded some text for added emphasis):

“In itself human suffering constitutes as it were a specific "world" which exists together with man, which appears in him and passes, and sometimes does not pass, but which consolidates itself and becomes deeply rooted in him. This world of suffering, divided into many, very many subjects, exists as it were "in dispersion". Every individual, through personal suffering, constitutes not only a small part of that a world", but at the same time" that world" is present in him as a finite and unrepeatable entity. Parallel with this, however, is the interhuman and social dimension. The world of suffering possesses as it were its own solidarity. People who suffer become similar to one another through the analogy of their situation, the trial of their destiny, or through their need for understanding and care, and perhaps above all through the persistent question of the meaning of suffering. Thus, although the world of suffering exists "in dispersion", at the same time it contains within itself a singular challenge to communion and solidarity. We shall also try to follow this appeal in the present reflection.”

 (St. John Paul II, Salvifici Doloris #8)

Big Hero 6 continues to show us the communion and solidarity in a world of suffering. Baymax contacts Hiro’s nerdy friends, and we see that with them—and Baymax—Hiro is able to heal and reorient his life.

The witness of sacrificial love. As the movie begins, we see Hiro in the bot fighting rink. Hiro, acting like any typical genius teenager might, goes to the bot fights and makes money, adding to his own personal glory. On the other hand, we begin to see Tadashi’s self-sacrifice as we meet Baymax: the healer robot that Tadashi has spent many hours creating, in order to help other people. Hiro sees how amazing (and weird) Tadashi’s life, work, workplace, and friends are, and due to the witness of Tadashi, he is encouraged to seek more in life than bot fighting. Tadashi is a witness of what sacrificial love is: he works to help other people, and he ultimately gives up his life for Callaghan. Later on, we see how Tadashi’s sacrifice was for Callaghan seems to be in vain, since Callaghan started the fire (and survived). But the witness of Tadashi’s sacrifice remains.

Hiro, following in the footsteps of his brother, ultimately grows in this sacrificial love himself. Risking everything, he dives into the portal to save Abigail. Yes, she’s the daughter of the villain, but Hiro and Baymax recognize her dignity and worth, and give all that they have to save her. When they try to get out, not only does Baymax offer up himself to send Hiro and Abigail out, but Hiro makes a huge sacrifice as well. He has to accept the sacrifice of Baymax, knowing that he has lost yet another close friend. How many times have we experienced something like this in our own lives? We’ve already gone through so much suffering, lost so much, and then—BAM. We lose something or someone very dear to us. And we’re left wondering what we’ve done to deserve this.

“But in order to perceive the true answer to the "why" of suffering, we must look to the revelation of divine love, the ultimate source of the meaning of everything that exists. Love is also the richest source of the meaning of suffering, which always remains a mystery: we are conscious of the insufficiency and inadequacy of our explanations. Christ causes us to enter into the mystery and to discover the "why" of suffering, as far as we are capable of grasping the sublimity of divine love. In order to discover the profound meaning of suffering, following the revealed word of God, we must open ourselves wide to the human subject in his manifold potentiality. We must above all accept the light of Revelation not only insofar as it expresses the transcendent order of justice but also insofar as it illuminates this order with Love, as the definitive source of everything that exists. Love is: also the fullest source of the answer to the question of the meaning of suffering. This answer has been given by God to man in the Cross of Jesus Christ.”

(St. John Paul II, Salvifici Doloris, #13).

There is hope in death. We see Hiro setting up his new life after losing Baymax, and we’re trying to pull ourselves together. He’s just a robot, we try to remind ourselves. Obviously, the sacrifice was the most admirable thing. But this is so, so, lame. But we try to wipe our eyes and take joy in the fact that Hiro has accepted his many losses and is starting out his life anew and with purpose. And then we have that glimmer of hope, which bubbles up into deep joy, peace, and elation: Hiro discovers the identity chip of Baymax. Plus, it’s a Disney movie, so of course they wouldn’t kill off the cute, giant, marshmallow character. In all seriousness, we can remember that just as Hiro discovers this new life and hope after all of the sorrow and death, so too, shall we. God is continually blessing our lives, and desires to bring us to the fullness of joy.

“For I know well the plans I have in mind for you—oracle of the LORD—plans for your welfare and not for woe, so as to give you a future of hope.” ~Jer 29:11

Divine Mercy and the Awesomeness of Love

Happy Monday! I hope that y'all are doing absolutely, totally, and fabulously wonderful! Here's a fun quotation from the Diary of St. Faustina for y'all to munch on this week:

      "Love is a mystery that transforms everything it touches into things beautiful and pleasing to God.  The love of God makes a soul free.  She is like a queen; she knows no slavish compulsion; she sets about everything with great freedom of soul, because the love which dwells in her incites her to action.  Everything that surrounds her makes her know that only God Himself is worthy of her love.  A soul in love with God and immersed in Him approaches her duties with the same dispositions as she does Holy Communion and carries out the simplest tasks with great care, under the loving gaze of God.  She is not troubled if, after some time, something turns out to be less successful.  She remains calm, because at the time of the action she had done what was in her power.  When it happens that the living presence of God, which she enjoys almost constantly, leaves her, she then tries to continue living in lively faith.  Her soul understands that there are periods of rest and periods of battle.  Through her will, she is always with God.  Her soul, like a knight, is well trained in battle; from afar it sees where the foe is hiding and is ready for battle.  She knows she is not alone – God is her strength." (Notebook II, #890)

Sacrificial Love in Action: Hans Christian Anderson's "The Little Mermaid"

Much of my spiritual journey and vocation has revolved around the quotation from St. John Paul II that stands at the top of this blog: “Do not be afraid when love requires sacrifice.” These words are simple, profound, and very true. Love and sacrifice cannot be separated. Even though I did not come across St. JPII’s quotation until I was in high school, this truth has surrounded me my entire life. One of the ways in which this truth entered into my life—besides through the lives of Jesus and the saints—was my all-time favorite fairy tale: The Little Mermaid. I’m not talking the animated Disneyfied musical that’s titled The Little Mermaid; I’m talking the Hans Christian Anderson story of sacrificial love in action. The story that grabs the mind and heart with love, sacrifice, sorrow, hope, and redemption.

I loved reading fairy tale books from the library (still do; I read parts of three different collections of fairy tales over the weekend), and one day when I was a young girl, I found a beautifully illustrated copy of The Little Mermaid. The illustrations were either watercolor or something similar to watercolor, and these images resonated the beauty of the story. Over the years, friends would talk about the Disney movie and sing the music, and I refused to watch the movie. How could I, knowing that Disney contorted a beautiful tale of sacrificial love? Well, when I was 17, I finally saw the movie at a sleepover, and I enjoyed the music and had a fun time. However, it’s not anywhere near the level of epic that the true fairy tale stands at. Sometimes, when I’ve asked people if they have actually read the original story, they’ll say, “Oh, doesn’t she just turn into sea foam in the end?” At which I usually do a mental face palm, and then try to explain the story to them.

So, O Kind Reader, if you desire to hear about the awesomeness of the True Little Mermaid, I invite you to pick up a version of the fairy tale, or if you know the general story, just follow along (I’ve included some direct quotations to give you some of the beautiful language of the story itself. The direct quotations from the fairy tale are selected from Fairy Tales and Stories, by Hans Christian Anderson. The MacMillian Company, 1921.).

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So there are six mermaid princesses. And the youngest is—you guessed it—the Little Mermaid. When a princess turns 15, she is allowed to journey up to the surface of the ocean for the first time ever. So, the Little Mermaid hears the stories from her older sisters, and finally journeys up there herself. This happens to be the same day as the prince’s sixteenth birthday, and he’s having a party on his ship. When the storm comes during the party, the Little Mermaid witnesses the frantic scurrying of all those on board the ship as they tried to save themselves.

“She looked particularly for the young prince, and when the ship went to pieces, she saw him sink into the deep sea. At first she was very glad, for now he would come down to her. But then she remembered that people could not live in the water, and that when he got down to her father’s palace he would certainly be dead. No, he must not die; so she swam around among the drifting beams and planks, quite forgetting that one of them might have crushed her.”

So can we just stop right there and think about the sacrifice of the mermaid right here? “Quite forgetting that one of them might have crushed her.” She doesn’t even know the prince, but she sees him, thinks he’s handsome, and then decides to risk herself by saving his life. This is extremely awesome! She then brings the prince to shore, and leaves before he can see who his rescuer was. In the coming days, the Little Mermaid comes up to gaze on the palace quite often, and begins to love the race of human beings. She’s intrigued by the beauty and overall awesomeness of humans. Sweetness. She then questions her grandmother about humans.

            “’If human beings are not drowned,’ asked the little mermaid, ‘can they live forever? Don’t they die as we die down here in the sea?

            ‘Yes,’ said the old lady. ‘They, too, must die, and their life is even shorter than ours. We can live to be three hundred years old, but when we no longer exist here, we become only foam on the water, and have not even a grave down here among those we love. We have no immortal soul; we never receive another life…But human beings have a soul which lives forever, lives even after the body has turned to earth…just as we rise out of the water and see the human countries, so they rise up to lovely, unknown places, never to be seen by us.’”

So the Little Mermaid thinks this jazz about an immortal soul is awesome. She gets really sad, and asks why she can’t have an immortal soul—because she would gladly sacrifice her three hundred year life span to gain a soul and someday reach Heaven. Her grandmother tries to dissuade her from such thoughts, by explaining:

“Only if a man were to love you so that you should be more to him than father or mother; if he should cling to you with his every thought and with all his love, and let the priest lay his right hand in yours with a promise of faithfulness here and in all eternity, you would receive a share of the happiness of mankind. He would give a soul to you and still keep his own. But that can never come to pass,” she states, mentioning how humans think the mermaid fishtail is ugly. The grandmother then beckons the Little Mermaid to a court ball that evening, trying to distract her granddaughter from thoughts of an immortal soul.

Court ball vs. immortal soul? The Little Mermaid easily sees which is better. She leaves the ball and travels to the dwelling of the sea witch—which terrified her—because she is willing to risk and sacrifice all things for the prince and an immortal soul. So she goes to the sea witch, and sacrifices her tongue for a potion that will turn her fishtail into human legs. However, the sea witch points out, her new legs will be painful.

“It will seem as if you were cut with a sharp sword…you will keep your graceful walk; no dancer will be able to move so lightly as you; but ever step you take will be as if you trod upon sharp knives, and as if your blood must flow.”

The sea witch then explains that if the Little Mermaid does not win the prince’s love, on the first morning after he has married another woman, she will become sea foam. Despite her fears, the Little Mermaid thinks of an immortal soul and the prince, gladly sacrifices herself. She becomes human, and the prince becomes her dear friend. He does not know that it was she who saved him, and he “loved her as one loves a dear, good child, but it never came into his head to make her his wife.” Ultimately, the prince meets a princess and falls in love with her, and as the Little Mermaid holds the bride’s train at the wedding, she can only think about how this night would be the last of her life. As she stands on the ship where the after-wedding party and dance is taking place, the Little Mermaid cannot partake of the festivities.

“She knew this was the last evening on which she might see him for whom she had left her people and her home, had given up her beautiful voice, and had suffered unheard-of pains every day, while he was utterly unconscious of it all.”

After the party, the ship falls silent and the prince and his new bride go into the bridal chamber. The Little Mermaid stands on the ship’s deck and waits for her death at the rays of dawn. All of a sudden, her five sisters rise up in the water. They explain that they have sacrificed their long hair, giving it to the sea witch to save the Little Mermaid’s life. They toss a knife up to the Little Mermaid, and explain that before the sun rises, she must stab the prince’s heart with it and let his blood fall onto her feet. Then, her fishtail will grow back, and she will become a mermaid once again, to live for three hundred years with her family. The Little Mermaid takes the knife and walks into the bridal chamber. She looks upon the prince and his wife sleeping together, and—after struggling with herself—walks away, flinging the knife into the sea. The Little Mermaid has sacrificed her desires to be a selfless, loving woman. The sun rises and the mermaid throws herself into the water, feeling her body dissolve into foam.

But she’s not sea foam.

The Little Mermaid doesn’t feel pangs of death, and instead rises up. She sees hundreds of transparent beings who speak with a beautiful, spiritual melody. They explain to her that she is now one of them, a daughter of air. These beings do good deeds for three hundred years, and then receive an immortal soul and have eternal happiness and joy. The daughters of air tell the Little Mermaid that, since she had striven to sacrifice herself and do good deeds her whole life, after three hundred years of continuing this, she will gain an immortal soul and eternal life & joy. 

“And the little mermaid lifted her bright arms towards God’s sun, and for the first time she felt tears.”

I hope that you can see just how cool the original Little Mermaid is. Ariel may have cute red hair, but the true Little Mermaid has the guts to sacrifice her entire self for the sake of love.

How Single Mothers Have Inspired Me

Since I’ve been on a month long break from classes, I’ve gotten to watch different movies with my husband (when classes are in session, movie nights come on an infrequent basis). Recently, we watched Mom’s Night Out, which was hilarious! It was a fun movie to watch, with several memorable characters. As you can probably guess from the title, the movie focused a lot on motherhood and the dignity of mothers. One of the major characters that the movie focused on was a young single mother. I was super excited about this fact, because throughout the movie, you see different sides to her character and motherhood. I feel like many times, in daily life and conversations, you don't get a very positive image of single moms. Watching this movie spurred me to reflect on the handful or so of single moms who I have known or worked with over the past several years.

As I reflected on these women, I’ve come to realize just how amazing they are. I’m not saying this to glorify fornication; I know and believe that sexual intercourse is made for marriage, and it deeply saddens me when anyone has sex outside of marriage. (Though I need to point out that we can't automatically assume that every pregnant, single woman we meet willingly got pregnant out of wedlock. Abuse and rape are sad realities for many women). I think a lot of times, though, people get all weird around single women who are pregnant or have young children. It is one thing when people are praying and talking with women outside an abortion clinic, but when single mothers wind up in our classrooms, parishes, and workplaces, many people can interact with them inappropriately. Either trying to do a “standoffish” approach or a “let me reminder you continually that fornication is a sin” approach is completely out of line and uncalled for. Single mothers are living, breathing, human beings—why don’t we act like it more often? I think it’s important that we reverence and recognize the beauty, sacrifice, and love that many single moms possess. I want to share with y’all some of the different ways in which single mothers I have known have inspired me:  

JPII wants YOU to Destroy your Inner Cyberman

There seems to be a misconception that I've encountered where people (specifically women and girls) are given the idea that we need to shut off our emotions. We're "too emotional," we're "not guarding our hearts," and we "aren't using reason-just be rational!" We see relationships where men and women only are emotionally invested, and we don't want that. So, as a result of this train of thought and other fears we may have, there's a temptation to shut down emotionally, trying to disregard various feelings and attractions that arise.

What does this look like? 

Of course I can't resist referencing Doctor Who, since the new
series starts this week!!!

For those of you who don't recognize this picture, these are Cybermen. A group opposed to the Doctor, it goes around trying to "upgrade" human beings: replace body parts with plastic and steel, and insert emotion inhibitors. So, where a living, breathing, feeling human being once stood, an emotionless steel man now stands. Terrifying, isn't it? Huge hunks of steel following orders, destroying and "upgrading" people. No love, no compassion, no community.

I think we can all safely agree that Cybermen have got it all wrong. How do we fix this problematic thinking? Are we supposed to swing to the opposite end of the spectrum, letting our emotions and feelings guide all of our actions? 

Let's take a look at Love and Responsibility, by that epic man, Karol Wojtyla (St. JPII the Great!). In the section titled, "From Sympathy to Friendship," he discusses the presence of sympathy in our lives. Literally, form working with the roots, "sympathy" means "experiencing together." It brings people together emotionally who experience things together. When people's relationships  thrive solely upon sympathy, their joint emotional experience, they ultimately are driven apart, because when "sympathy breaks down they usually feel that love has come to an end." Wojtyla also mentions how oftentimes, men and women leave their relationships at the level of sympathy, feeding off of pure emotion.

What does Wojtyla say that we should do instead? Move from sympathy alone to friendship. In a friendship, we utilize our will. "I desire a good for you just as I desire it for myself, for my own 'I'." Friendship requires commitment, a movement of the will, a choice. Now, some of you might be thinking, "Clearly, friendship-relationships are much healthier than sympathy-relationships, so we should put aside the sympathy." Looking at Wojtyla's writings and wisdom, I don't think we really want that. In fact, Wojtyla says that a friendship without sympathy "will remain cold and incommunicable." Like our giant, steel, emotionless Cybermen. 

We need a balance. "Love cannot be merely a matter of 'consuming' sympathy, or of finding an outlet for one's feelings in it. No, love consists in the thoroughgoing transformation of sympathy into friendship...Sympathy and friendship are two processes which must interpenetrate without hindering each other." Sympathy brings warmth and communion into a relationship, and friendship focuses us on the other person as the object, not emotions as the object.

We need to destroy our "inner Cybermen," letting ourselves acknowledge our emotions as a gift from God. At the same time, we must not let ourselves be ruled by emotions, but using our will, order everything into its proper place. Emotions and sympathy can be a great way to bring two people together, so that they can start a relationship of some kind. But we shouldn't stop there--we need to build a friendship.

"A dawning sympathy between two persons brings with it as a rule the possibility or even the modest beginning of friendship. Sympathy, however, is often intense right from the start, whereas friendship is faint and frail at first. The next stage is to take advantage of the emotional situation created by sympathy to fashion a mutual friendship, thereby endowing sympathy with a solid and objective significance."

Speaking from personal experience, when trying to place emotions in the proper place, asking the saints for help is always a plus. We need supernatural help in so many areas of our life, and they are ready and happy to help us!

Have an abundantly blessed and epic day!

Love Transubstantiates Suffering: Some Notes from Dr. Hahn's Talk

Happy Tuesday of Holy Week!!!

Last night, I had the tremendous blessing of attending a talk by Dr. Scott Hahn. Incidentally, I'm pretty sure that last night was the first time I've ever heard a talk from him. Weird, right? But when I heard that there was a talk entitled, "Love, Suffering, and Salvation," I knew I had to go--even before I knew who the speaker was!

Some Notes from Dr. Hahn's Talk:
*The goal of Christ's 3-year public ministry comes down to 3 hours, His time on the Cross. These three hours come down to 3 words-"It is finished."

*The only way that you can understand Good Friday is to look to what Christ did on Holy Thursday! In fact, Holy Thursday is what transformed Friday into "Good" Friday. To quote Dr. Hahn, "Holy Thursday turned Good Friday into a wellspring of life."

*Jesus saved us, not by how much He suffered, but by how much He loved! Suffering itself is not redemptive, and love, all by itself, can become warm fuzzy feelings. What proves whether or not love is genuine? If you follow the commandment to lay down your life for others.

*Love transubstantiates suffering into sacrifice. To quote Dr. Hahn again, "Charity endows suffering with redemptive power...Love does not diminish our capacity to suffer, it enlarges it."

*We must look at the Cross in light of the Eucharist. If the Last Supper was just a meal (not the Institution of the Eucharist), then Calvary is just an execution. But the love of God binds together Calvary and the Last Supper with His sacrifice, the Eucharist. Instituting the Eucharist transformed Calvary.

*"You don't have to die to go to Heaven, you just have to go to Mass." ~Dr. Hahn

*"The inner logic of our Faith is divine love." ~Dr. Hahn



I really found the timing of Dr. Hahn's talk providential, because it was further confirmation and expansion upon topics that I have been discussing heavily with a few household sisters. My household is Sacrifice of Love, so the whole realm of Christ's Passion and sacrifice is the core and heart of our commitments, formation, and lives. An important distinction must be made, which I think Dr. Hahn phrased quite beautifully in his talk: Anyone can suffer, and everyone does suffer. But as Catholics, we sustain the joy, hope, love, and reality of Christ's triumph over death in the Resurrection; we can suffer with great love. Suffering with this great love then transforms our actions into sacrifices. 

Tips for Sacrificing, not Suffering: (and I'm continually learning, and am by no means an authority on this)

*Sacrifice with purpose. Many of the great saints talked about how doing a small action with great love can save souls. Are you stuck at a traffic light? Offer it up lovingly for souls in Purgatory.

*Sacrifice with joy. We don't have to constantly be happy when we're going through intense sacrificing. Mary wasn't all happy-go-lucky at Calvary. But, we are called to sustain joy at all times, holding onto God's goodness, with full trust in Him. For example, "I'm having a rough day today, but I'm offering it all to the Lord, for He is good!" is a lot better than, "I'm having a rough day, and I don't know how it'll ever get better." Joy brings the fire and love of God to others, and when we have joy in our sacrificing, we can draw so many people to Him!

*Sacrifice with others. Seriously, having accountability and community as you sacrifice is a wonderful thing! I'm glancing down at my TEC cross right now, remembering how much I continue to learn through that ministry. In TEC, I found a community--a family--of people who sacrifice for each other all the time. In household, it's very similar. But in the Catholic Church, we are a mega-huge family, and we can ALL sacrifice for each other! All the time! 

*Cast yourself into the Ultimate Sacrifice, the Eucharist. We can all deepen our devotion and love of our Eucharistic Lord more and more. He is the Sacrifice of Love, giving His Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity freely to us each day! How many people go through the motions at Mass (I know I have!)? How many people don't make daily Mass a priority? Seriously, get to one or two extra Masses during the week, and deepen your devotion to the Eucharist, and you have beautiful transformations in your life.

May the Joy of Christ Fill Your Hearts!

Wuv, True Wuv...

Happy Mercy Monday!

As Valentine's Day comes up later this week, many people talk/think/daydream about love.
Ah, love. True love.

"Mawage is wot bwings us togeder tooday.
 Mawage, that bwessed awangment, that dweam wifin a dweam..." 

Here's what Jesus and St. Faustina say about true love. 

                        God made known to me what true love consists in and gave light to me about how, in practice, to give proof of it to Him.  True love of God consists in carrying out God’s will.  To show God our love in what we do, all our actions, even the least, must spring from our love of God.  And the Lord said to me, My child, you please me most by suffering.  In your physical as well as your mental sufferings, my daughter, do not seek sympathy from creatures.  I want the fragrance of your suffering to be pure and unadulterated.  I want you to detach yourself, not only from creatures, but also from yourself.  My daughter, I want to delight in the love of your heart, a pure love, virginal, unblemished, untarnished.  The more you will come to love suffering, My daughter, the purer your love for Me will be.

(Diary of St. Faustina, Notebook 1, 279)

Do You Want to Build a Snowman? A Sanguine's Reflection on "Frozen"

Yesterday, Jacob and I went to see Frozen, because we had been given movie ticket vouchers as a gift, and because we heard it was awesome. Well, that is only partway true. We were going to see Frozen, but then I decided that The Hobbit would be cooler on the big screen, but then we got lost on the way to the theater (the theater that took our vouchers was in some town in PA) and missed The Hobbit. But we got there in time to see Frozen! And I am so very, very glad. 

I honestly did not know much about the movie, except that it was loosely inspired by "The Snow Queen" (by Hans Christian Anderson), centered around the relationship between two sisters (one of whom has the power to make snow/ice), and, according to numerous Frannies, was extremely catechetical. 

WHOA! 

I had already been listening to the soundtrack, so I knew that the music was amazing. Still...oh, it was beautiful. And the visuals were incredible as well. So gorgeous! And I love snow, hence I was pretty happy to see the beauty of winter portrayed well. The movie was not perfect (ie: a bishop is seen in the coronation scene, yet who are the experts of love and healing? Magical trolls. Disney has yet to give a strong place to positive Church figures in a princess movie; though I feel that clothing has improved in Disney princess films, some of the clothes were a bit indecent) but was very, very good. 

The character development was super interesting (though I really wanted more development of Kristoff's character-including more of a backstory), and the snow thing was intriguing. (which also left me desiring more explanation of its origin-so Elsa was "born with it"-and...any others in her family line born with it? Just a random fluke of birth? I wanted a little bit more to explain the snow power)

However, by far, my favorite element of the movie is Princess Anna.

Feisty and red-haired, full of life and spirit, Anna is the ultimate sanguine, and I love it! During the whole movie, I would repeatedly whack Jacob’s arm, excitedly whispering, “That’s just like what I do! I say that kind of thing all the time!” etc. So many things to love about Anna. Her courage, her awkwardness—both with her words and on her feet, her failure with direction/physical activity…so many other things I can’t remember off the top of my head. Oh yeah, and her immense love of chocolate. I basically felt like I was watching myself on screen for a large portion of the movie J

I feel that the whole movie is full of/about Anna’s development. Yes, the movie is about Elsa discovering how to use her power of snow/ice, and it's about their relationship as sisters, but really, Anna’s story is a driving backbone through the whole scenario. As I watched-and thought about-Frozen, I was continually struck with Anna's process of learning how to love in a Godly way.

***Warning**** Spoilers to Follow******

 As a sanguine/people person, Anna loves spending time with her sister in the beginning. “Do you want to build a snowman” is such a sweet song, and a ridiculously cute scene. 

As Elsa pushes Anna away, Anna continues to persevere in love for her sister. She's constantly pounding on Elsa's door, begging her to come and play. Here, Anna reminded me of God's love for us: that He continually comes to us, loving us-and we either let the door of our hearts open, or we sin and slam it--or keep it closed--and close ourselves off to His love. Anna has all this love in the world to give, and finds herself befriending the suits of armor and the pictures on the walls (here, I was reminded of so many Forensics tournaments in high school where my fellow students and I would talk to walls as we practiced). 

Such an awkward introduction. So awesome!

So, when the coronation comes, Anna is ecstatic that she will see all of these people "for the first time and forever." Full of love, she has fantasized her True Love, and has been holding the hope in her heart that she will meet him. When she does meet Prince Hans, Anna is her spunky, awkward sanguine self in her actions and words, and impulsively falls in love with him, agreeing to marry him. Such a sanguine moment! I have to confess, I loved the musical scene ("Love is an Open Door") with Anna and Hans. It was so fun! Continuing in her sanguineness, Anna is torn to pieces when Elsa refuses to offer her blessing to their engagement, and thus ensues the whole freezing over of the kingdom. 

Anna has this man who she has "fallen in love with," and now her sister is rejecting them-yet Anna does not let Elsa's decision affect the love that she has for Elsa. Instead, Anna sacrifices herself by traveling out into the snowy, icy weather to find Elsa. Of course, being a sanguine, she thinks everything will be solved by simply talking things over with Elsa-and has no other plans/ideas. (again, I can relate...) As she journeys to find Elsa, Anna meets up with Kristoff, who begins to sacrifice himself for her. As the story continues, I watched Kristoff and Anna's friendship and sacrifice grow, and Anna's love for her sister deepen in intensity, especially as she reaches the ice castle. 

Sacrifice, sacrifice, sacrifice. I kept seeing characters sacrificing for each other. In Disney Princess films over the years, I have seen some major selfishness (I'm not going to get on my "The Little Mermaid" rant here, but seriously---the Disneyfied version makes Ariel completely self-serving!). But in Frozen, this is not the case. When Olaf the snowman and Anna had this conversation, I freaked out inside:

Anna: “I don’t even know what true love is,” 
Olaf: “I do! That’s when you put someone else’s needs before your own.”

Disney? Yeah. You just captured the essence of the Christian life right there. From the mouth of a snowman. What just happened? SO PUMPED!!! And then, of course, I completely died with joy at the conclusion of the movie. An act of true love will save an icy heart. As Anna is on the brink of freezing to death, her lover-Kristoff-is racing towards her to save her life. The man of her dreams was coming to save her life, and even though she could see that Elsa was about to die, she could just do nothing and let Kristoff save her. But Anna's immense love for mankind has been transformed through sacrifice in this whole movie. Even the smallest bit of selfishness has left her, she is truly living for others. Laying aside her own desires, she sacrifices her life for Elsa. As I was writing this bog, I found a nifty article that Prof. Bob Rice wrote about eros and agape, which is worth checking out here. Anna lets her erotic love, her romantic, impulsive, passionate love, grow-but it is purified through sacrifice. Such a unity, such a transformation, is so profoundly necessary in our lives, and I was ecstatic that a Disney movie captured it! (other Disney princess movies will show self-sacrifice, but Frozen actually mentioned love being self-sacrifice). 

In Section 4 of Deus Caritas Est, Pope Emeritus Benedict states that  "Evidently, eros needs to be disciplined and purified if it is to provide not just fleeting pleasure, but a certain foretaste of the pinnacle of our existence, of that beatitude for which our whole being yearns."

In Section 10, he continues with "God is the absolute and ultimate source of all being; but this universal principle of creation—the Logos, primordial reason—is at the same time a lover with all the passion of a true love. Eros is thus supremely ennobled, yet at the same time it is so purified as to become one with agape." 

Watching Frozen yesterday caused me to reflect back on the readings from Mass on Tuesday: 

Beloved, let us love one another,
because love is of God;
everyone who loves is begotten by God and knows God.
Whoever is without love does not know God, for God is love.
In this way the love of God was revealed to us:
God sent his only-begotten Son into the world
so that we might have life through him.
In this is love:
not that we have loved God, but that he loved us
and sent his Son as expiation for our sins. (1 JN 4:7-10)

And from the next day, 

There is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear (1 Jn 4:16)

Anna did not fear; she courageously loved with every fiber of her being! 

**Like I said, Frozen is not a perfect movie. I even had a couple reservations towards the beginning, with the whole repression-expression thing that Elsa went through, because some people may take that in regards to homosexuality (I even saw it mentioned in a review later on). The whole repression-expression aspect of the movie could fit an entire blog post in itself. However, people can take anything to fit their own agendas, so I'm not going to spend to much time on that idea. Foremost, the reality and message that is given a label is "true love equals sacrifice," which our world needs more of!**

In Frozen, we are given a beautiful example of love being transformed and perfected through sacrifice. Anna sacrifices herself, and that sacrificial love-agape-ultimately is what brings life back to her and the country. And Anna still gets her Kristoff in the end, which was an added bonus. AND, Olaf gets his own personal flurry, so that he can enjoy the summertime without melting. Oh yeah, and when Sven takes Olaf's carrot at the end, he doesn't eat it--he gives it back. A sacrifice, however small, is still a sacrifice. Love it! A classic happily-ever-after Disney ending, but with so much growth along the way. (It reminded me a bit of Beauty and the Beast as I watched it, because Belle also sacrifices herself for another and there's lots of great music to boot). 

Plus, who can resist such a cute snowman? 

Hi, I'm Olaf and I like warm hugs!