The Five Words that I'm Praying On Repeat

"Jesus, I trust in You." 

A plea, an act of hope and faith, entrusting all that we have to Our Lord. While this pious ejaculation is succinct, it can be so very difficult to put into practice. Sure, we can say we trust Jesus, but do we live that reality? And what does living a life of trust look like when the concerns and worries of life creep into our lives and start shaking our peace? 


When the first slight, rolling ripples of nausea came, I thought I had just eaten too much Christmas candy. 

As Easter Zooms By: Thoughts on Lent 2017

The Easter Octave has come and gone, and now I'm settling into the comfortable, joyful pace of the Easter season. On one hand, it feels like the days are stretching out slowly before me, and on the other hand, it feels like we are zooming through this liturgical season. It's a beautiful time in the Church, with many Alleluias, flowers, hymns of praise, and chocolate. So far, I've been praying, bouncing with joyful glee, and devouring Whoppers Robin Eggs that were half off. 

At one point several weeks ago, I was a guest on "Morning Air," a Relevant Radio show hosted by John Harper. In the course of our conversation about Lent, John mentioned the idea of, once Easter arrives, writing down how your Lent/Lenten Plan went. I think this is a brilliant idea, because it's a concrete way to chart progress. To see what worked and what didn't, that kind of a thing. . 

Each year, I like to formulate my "Lenten Plan" under the categories of Prayer, Fasting, and Almsgiving. I like to be flexible with my Lenten Plan, and I also try to be realistic. This includes lowering my expectations for what I may be capable of, since caring for an active child takes a lot of energy. As Lent goes on, if I see areas where I can realistically add a penance, I'll expand my "Plan." It works pretty well with me, at least for now. Anyways, let's look at Lent this year! 

Dropping Stitches

For the past several weeks, I have enjoyed many hours spent with my knitting needles, a ball of yarn, and my son. I started working on my Magical Postpartum Scarf a few weeks before giving birth, but didn't get much done then. At one point, as the postpartum days flew by, I decided to pick it up again. 

Knitting this scarf was so peaceful. A simple stockinette stitch, I did not have to keep track of row numbers or quirky patterns. Rhythmic, straightforward, soothing. Knit a row. Purl a row. Smile at my baby as he pulls a section of the scarf into his mouth. Knit a row. 

In this gentle, relaxing process, there was a sad reality that loomed over my head: Once I reached the end of the piece, I would drop every third stitch and proceed to unravel hours of my hard work. My greatest fear was that, upon reaching the fateful row, I would accidentally drop the wrong stitches and somehow my entire scarf would come undone. 

Daredevil & Holy Week

My husband and I are making our way through the second season of Dardevil, and last night we watched the third episode, "New York's Finest." While this episode thrilled me on many levels (talk about some great moments from Matt's friends!), I was particularly gripped by a lengthy conversation that occurs between Dardevil and the main villain of this season, Punisher. Without dipping too far into spoiler territory, I can say that watching this episode during Holy Week seems especially appropriate. Furthermore, since it is Spy Wednesday, the day that we commemorate Judas bargaining with the high priest to betray Jesus, I think it's particularly timely to briefly reflect on this episode.

As Matt Murdock (Daredevil) speaks with Punisher (whom Matt discovers is named Frank), they discuss justice from the viewpoint of a vigilante. Matt does not kill people, and battles crime in the streets of Hell's Kitchen to help keep people safe, preserve their welfare, and seek justice. Frank, however, sees it as his mission to eradicate corruption by killing evildoers in order to keep them from harming others. 

Mercy Monday: Christmas is Almost Here!

Happy Monday, everyone! Like the rest of you, I'm sure, I have a very long "To Do" list, and combined with pregnancy fatigue, I am so not motivated to get things done. In all honesty, I would love to sit around, eat guacamole, drink Abuelita hot chocolate, and watch movies. But, I need to get that list of things done anyway-so, I need to get off the computer and get working. Before I do that, though, I want to dive into St. Maria Faustina's Diary, since 1. It is the Year of Mercy, and 2. As we prepare for the Solemnity of Christmas, it is so fitting that we meditate on God's tremendous mercy and love! As you continue in these last days of Advent, I hope that you can find time in the midst of travels and decorating to embrace silence and peace. Maybe by taking a 10-minute break to spend in silence, perhaps by visiting Christ in a church, or by turning off the radio in the car. Have a blessed, final Monday of Advent! 

4 Ways to Start Off the Year of Mercy

Happy Monday, everyone! I hope that you all had a blessed weekend and beginning to this second week of Advent! Tomorrow is quite awesome for many reasons. Not only is tomorrow the Solemnity of the Immaculate Conception (it's also a Holy Day of Obligation, so get yourself to Mass tonight or tomorrow!), and not only is tomorrow the DVD release date for Ant-Man, but tomorrow also begins the Year of Mercy!!! I know that Catholic blogs abound with lists of ways to celebrate the Year of Mercy, so I'm not going to give you any lengthy lists or tangents. Instead, I'm going to provide a few ways that I will be using to kick off this special Jubilee, with a couple links to other great resources! 

Submission to God's will (Mercy Monday)

Happy Monday, everyone! I've decided that, with the Year of Mercy rapidly approaching (it begins on December 8), I really need to get my act together and bring back more posts with St. Faustina's Diary. There are so many amazing chunks of epicness to munch on, pray with, and implement in our lives! Today, let's look at what God tells St. Faustina about following His will. 

Embrace God's Mercy-Today!

"Growing up, I never knew much about St. Faustina. I recognized pictures of her, and connected her with the Divine Mercy image, where Jesus is pictured with rays shooting out from His chest. Sometimes, I prayed the Divine Mercy Chaplet with my family on Fridays. In Catholic bookstores, I would see the volume titled Divine Mercy in My Soul: Diary of Saint Maria Faustina Kowalska, but I never picked it up. This book looked massive, and I figured that I would never really read it. Who has time to read a 600+ page spiritual book? Slowly, over time, I developed a greater devotion to Divine Mercy in my life. Shortly after our wedding two years ago, my husband and I began reading the Diary. This book has profoundly affected my life and relationship with God in so many incredible ways. Today, I would like to share with you some benefits of reading St. Faustina’s Diary..."

Find the rest over at Ignitum Today! 
Happy Feast of St. Faustina!! 

Batman, Hugh Hefner, and the Call of St. Matthew

Happy Monday, everyone!! I hope that you all had an amazingly blessed weekend. I had a great weekend, filled with games, training at a local crisis pregnancy center, crocheting, and Batman. You see, recently I used some graduation gift money to purchase season 1(which I've heard is the best of the 3 seasons, so it's the only one I really wanted) of the 1960s Batman: The Television Series, so I have been gradually watching the episodes.  Since today is a "Mercy Monday," the Feast of St. Matthew, and Pope Francis is about to visit the U.S.A. with his message of mercy, I think it's a great time to discuss Batman, Hugh Hefner, and the Call of St. Matthew! So let our discussion begin!

Why you should totally learn to knit or crochet soon (hint: You can help save babies!!!)

Happy Wednesday, everyone!! I hope that you all are having a grace-filled day! I'm really enjoying today so far: I ate breakfast, went to Mass with my husband, went thrifting, ran errands at the store, prayed part of a Rosary, and planned out my daily "To Do" list-all before 10 a.m.! If only I was this on top of things more often, right??? I guess I can dream on : ) 

Today, I have a couple of thoughts about sanctity and saving lives, which I want to share with y'all. I mean, I want to help save lives! That'd be pretty epic. Guess what? We have an awesome opportunity within our grasp to concretely help save lives and strengthen families. Yesterday after Mass, I read a sign that was posted near the doorway of the church. It was an advertisement for an organization that was calling for volunteers who knit and/or crochet. Sign me up! was my first thought. I had no clue what this organization was, so I looked into it more. It is called Click For Babies.  

"These scars will be the artwork etched into my soul." Discussing Suffering, Healing, & Hope with Artist Camille Mica

When I was a freshman in college, there was this one particular woman in my Theology class. She seemed pretty nice, and her big eyes always twinkled with peace and joy. We lived in the same dormitory, studied together a few times, and shared some meals in the cafeteria. Occasionally, I would join in our school's Monday night homeless ministry, and this woman would always be there, totally present and overflowing with love, joy, and grace for all of the people we encountered. Whether in classes, meetings, in the hallway, or at an anti-trafficking event that she organized, an encounter with this woman was always  an experience of God's love. 

The other day, I ordered a print from this woman's Etsy shop as a gift for a friend. I hadn't looked at her art for a while, and I thought, "wow, I bet she has a cool story or two to share." While falling asleep that night, I suddenly had the idea that I wanted to interview this woman, because I wanted to have her words recorded where I could go back to them. I then realized that the whole world-not just myself-can benefit from this woman's story. So, out of the blue, I messaged her, and she was gracious enough to share her heart, soul, and story with vulnerability, humility, and love. 

Today, I bring to all of you the story of Camille, who operates Etched into my Soul. This story is one of suffering, redemption, healing, and hope. It is a story of God's work. We see that God truly equips us with the tools necessary for His work-the young artist I interviewed has only taken one still-life drawing class in her life, yet she creates gorgeous paintings to further God's glory. This story has moved me to tears MANY times, as my heart and soul are touched so profoundly by Camille's words. I pray that you allow God to touch you through this interview, and that you open yourself up to His grace and healing! 

Will We Choose to Love Today?

Happy Monday! I hope that you all are having an amazing start to the week! I would like to start off today by looking at the Diary of St. Faustina. Let us be challenged and inspired to change our lives and choose to love each day!

"The Lord God grants His graces in two ways: by inspiration and by enlightenment. If we ask God for a grace, He will give it to us; but let us be willing to accept it. And in order to accept it, self-denial is needed. Love does not consist in words or feelings, but in deeds. It is an act of the will; it is a gift; that is to say, a giving. The reason, the will, the heart-these three faculties must be exercised during prayer. I will rise from the dead in Jesus, but first I must live in Him. If I do not separate myself from the Cross, then the Gospel will not be revealed in me. Jesus in me makes up for all my deficiencies. His grace operates without ceasing. The Holy Trinity grants me Its life abundantly, by the gift of the Holy Spirit. The Three Divine Persons live in me. When God loves, He loved with all His Being, with all the power of His Being. If God has loved me in this way, how should I respond-I, His spouse?"
(Notebook 1, #392)

Do You Want God to Bless You? Just Let Him!

I hope that you are having a blessed beginning of your week! It is quite peaceful in my corner of the world, and I have been enjoying myself. Over the weekend, my husband and I got to spend some quality time together going on a date, playing games, and watching "Kid Snippets" (which are from the creators of "Kid History," on Youtube). Also, we turned in a parish registration form on Sunday (so hopefully we'll be "official" soon!), filled out a survey for the new Young Adult group at the parish, and met many wonderful people at a reception that day! I also was blessed to picnic with some out-of-town friends, which was quite lovely. And later today, I'll be visiting with a wonderful woman whom I met this weekend. All in all, a fabulous weekend and beginning of the week. 

It really made me ponder how God always provides. 

What do we need with genuine virtue? Check out St. Faustina's Diary for the answer!

Happy Monday!!! I hope that you all are having an abundantly epic and blessed start of the week! Life has been very blessed and hitting a nice rhythm over here in Oklahoma. Saturday was a "catch up" day, where my husband and I ran a bunch of errands, buying groceries and whatnot. We finished off the day by having a "Kid History" date. If you haven't seen the "Kid History" videos on youtube, you should really look into them (adults acting out ridiculous stories, as narrated by their children). On Sunday, we attended morning Mass, played games, and then had a relaxing afternoon. I snagged the opportunity to read some of my new library books and plant some seeds for my "porch garden." Maybe the whole "porch garden" is one of my sanguine moments, and will be completely unsuccessful, but I'm giving it a try, and starting slow. I planted some basil and arugula, so if nothing grows, it's not a big loss of time or money. Ah, the glory and adventure of trying out new things! 

As I'm trying to get my life more organized, I'm working on going back through parts of Divine Mercy in My Soul: the Diary of St. Maria Faustina Kowalska. I've read the entire Diary, but it is so good to go back and re-read different passages, and to focus on them more. Our copy is full of bookmarks that my husband and I would slide in when we found passages we really liked! This week's passage for reflection is completely epic, and I'm so excited to share it with all of you! This morning, I was wondering what part of St. Faustina's Diary to put on the blog this week, and then one of my household sisters texted me this passage. God works in wonderfully fabulous ways! 

Mercy Monday: Prayer to the Eucharist

Happy Monday!!!!! Here's some epicness from St. Faustina's diary!

        "O Blessed Host, in whom is contained the testament of God’s mercy for us, and especially for poor sinners.

O Blessed Host, in whom is contained the Body and Blood of the Lord Jesus as proof of infinite mercy for us, and especially for poor sinners.

O Blessed Host, in whom is contained life eternal and of infinite mercy, dispensed in abundance to us and especially to poor sinners.

O Blessed Host, in whom is contained the mercy of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit toward us, and especially toward poor sinners.

O Blessed Host, in whom is contained the infinite price of mercy which will compensate for all our debts, and especially those of poor sinners.

O Blessed Host, in whom is contained the fountain of living water which springs from infinite mercy for us, and especially for poor sinners. 

O Blessed Host, in whom is contained the fire of purest love which blazes forth from the bosom of the Eternal Father, as from an abyss of infinite mercy for us, and especially for poor sinners.

O Blessed Host, in whom is contained the medicine for all our infirmities, flowing from infinite mercy, as from a fount, for us and especially for poor sinners.

O Blessed Host, in whom is contained the union between God and us through His infinite mercy for us, and especially for poor sinners.

O Blessed Host, in whom are contained all the sentiments of the most sweet Heart of Jesus toward us, and especially poor sinners.

O Blessed Host, our only hope in all the sufferings and adversities of life.

O Blessed Host, our only hope in the midst of darkness and of storms within and without.

O Blessed Host, our only hope in life and at the hour of our death.

O Blessed Host, our only hope in the midst of adversities and floods of despair.

O Blessed Host, our only hope in the midst of falsehood and treason.

O Blessed Host, our only hope in the midst of the darkness and godlessness which inundate the earth.

O Blessed Host, our only hope in the longing and pain in which no one will understand us.

 O Blessed Host, our only hope in the toil and monotony of everyday life.

O Blessed Host, our only hope amid the ruin of our hopes and endeavors.

O Blessed Host, our only hope in the midst of the ravages of the enemy and the efforts of hell.

O Blessed Host, I trust in You w3hen the burdens are beyond my strength and I find my efforts are fruitless.

O Blessed Host, I trust in You when storms toss my heart about and my fearful spirit tends to despair.

O Blessed Host, I trust in You when my heart is about to tremble and mortal sweat moistens my brow.

O Blessed Host, I trust in You when everything conspires against me and black despair creeps into my soul.

O Blessed Host, I trust in You when my eyes will begin to grow dim to all temporal things and, for the first time, my spirit will behold the unknown worlds.

O Blessed Host, I trust in You when my tasks will be beyond my strength and adversity will become my daily lot.

O Blessed Host I trust in You when the practice of virtue will appear difficult for me and my nature will grow rebellious.

O Blessed Host, I trust in You when hostile blows will be aimed against me.

O Blessed Host, I trust in You when my toils and efforts will be misjudged by others.

O Blessed Host, I trust in You when Your judgments will resound over me; it is then that I will trust in the sea of Your mercy." 

(Notebook 1, #356)

Spring Break Musings and Updates!

Happy Tuesday! 

While I take a quick break from my homework, here are some random blurbs about life lately: 

It's Spring Break!!!!!!! And I've been loving it. Absolutely loving it. On Saturday, my husband and I woke up before 5 to take some friends of ours to the airport. On our way back to Steubenville, we started talking about food. Because food is wonderful. And we discovered that Biscuit World opens at 5:30, so we got to spontaneously enjoy a fabulous breakfast (with much coffee) on our way home. If y'all haven't been there, Biscuit World is a heavenly fast-foodish place, where they serve huge, delicious food portions at inexpensive prices. Anyways, after we got home, I had some time to read St. Faustina's Diary before we attended 8 a.m. Mass. After Mass, I finished the Diary (why don't I wake up before 5 more often? So much productivity and fun!)! See more on this below.  

St. Faustina's Diary is crazy amazing!!!! It took me just over a year-and-a-half, but I read and prayed with the whole thing. I completely recommend reading the Diary all the way through. It is so epic! On that note, here's a really awesome excerpt from the Diary (I didn't have time to get it on the blog yesterday). The bolded words are the words of Christ, in case you weren't aware of that. This part of St. Faustina's Diary would, in my opinion, be awesome for a middle school or high school prayer service. I mean, how many times have we said--or thought--the exact things that the soul says in this excerpt? 

                                                Conversation of the Merciful God

                             With a Despairing Soul.

                Jesus:  O soul steeped in darkness, do not despair.  All is not yet lost.  Come and confide in your God, who is love and mercy. 

-- But the soul, deaf even to this appeal, wraps itself in darkness.

         Jesus calls out again:  My child, listen to the voice of your merciful Father. 

--  In the soul arises this reply:  “For me there is no mercy,” and it falls into greater darkness, a despair which is a foretaste of hell and makes it unable to draw near God.

Jesus calls to the soul a third time, but the soul remains deaf and blind, hardened and despairing.  Then the mercy of God begins to exert itself, and, without any co-operation from the soul, God grants it final grace.  If this too is spurned, God will leave the soul in this self-chosen disposition for eternity.  This grace emerges from the merciful Heart of Jesus and gives the soul a special light by means of which the soul begins to understand (83) God’s effort; but conversion depends on its own will.  The soul knows that this, for her, is final grace and, should it show even a flicker of good will, the mercy of God will accomplish the rest.

My omnipotent mercy is active here.  Happy the soul that takes advantage of this grace. 

Jesus:  What joy fills My Heart when you return to me.  Because you are weak, I take you in My arms and carry you to the home of My Father.

Soul (as if awaking, asks fearfully):  Is it possible that there yet is mercy for me?

Jesus:  There is, My child.  You have a special claim on My mercy.  Let it act in your poor soul; let the rays of grace enter your soul; they bring with them light, warmth, and life. 

Soul:  But fear fills me at the thought of my sins, and this terrible fear moves me to doubt Your goodness.

Jesus:  My child, all your sins have not wounded My Heart as painfully as your present lack of trust does – that after so many efforts of My (84) love and mercy, you should still doubt My goodness. 

Soul:  O Lord, save me Yourself, for I perish.  Be my Savior.  O Lord, I am unable to say anything more; my pitiful heart is torn asunder; but You, O Lord…..

Jesus does not let the soul finish but, raising it from the ground, from the depths of its misery, he leads it into the recesses of His Heart where all its sins disappear instantly, consumed by the flames of love.

Jesus:  Here, soul, are all the treasures of My Heart.  Take everything you need from it. 

Soul:  O Lord, I am inundated with Your grace.  I sense that a new life has entered into me and, above all, I feel Your love in my heart.  That is enough for me.  O Lord, I will glorify the omnipotence of Your mercy for all eternity.  Encouraged by Your goodness, I will confide to You all the sorrows of my heart.

Jesus:  Tell me all, My child, hide nothing from Me, because My loving Heart, the Heart of your Best Friend, is listening to you. 

Soul:  O Lord, now I see all my ingratitude and Your goodness.  You were pursuing me with Your grace, while I was frustrating Your benevolence.  I see that I deserve (85) the depths of hell for spurning Your graces.  Jesus (interrupting):  Do not be absorbed in your misery – you are still too weak to speak of it – but, rather; gaze on My Heart filled with goodness, and be imbued with My sentiments.  Strive for meekness and humility; be merciful to others, as I am to you; and, when you feel your strength failing, if you come to the fountain of mercy to fortify your soul, you will not grow weary on your journey. 

Soul:  Now I understand Your mercy, which protects me, and like a brilliant star, leads me into the home of my Father, protecting me from the horrors of hell that I have deserved, not once, but a thousand times.  O Lord, eternity will hardly suffice for me to give due praise to Your unfathomable mercy and Your compassion for me.

(Diary of St. Faustina, #1486)

Studio Ghibli makes my heart sing. Over the weekend, I picked up The Cat Returns from the library, and we watched it with some friends who are stuck on campus for break. I love this movie. It's really amazing. Even if you don't like cats, you need to watch this. It's short, sweet, hilarious, heartwarming, and just plain awesome. Make sure that you watch it with the English dubbed track, because Studio Ghibli is awesome at that (and one of the main characters is voiced by Cary Elwes. You know, Westley, from The Princess Bride. Which is another reason why you must see this film). 

Food is good. Sacrifice is good. God is funny. On Saturday, I totally had the baking itch. Classes were out, I didn't feel like working on homework, and I had a cookie cookbook from the library. So I made deliciously awesome caramel cheesecake cookie bars, which were fantastic. Then, a couple days later, some of my friends and I decided that we would do a sacrifice of "no cookies" for a week. Very funny, God. But it's really great, for I need to get better at sacrificing. 

Friends are marvelous and a blessing! One of our friends had a birthday party on Sunday, so we spent the afternoon eating ice cream cake and learning how to play "Bang!" Three people "died" before me, but I definitely would re-do some things next time I play. 'Twas a delightful game and afternoon! 

Such a good game!!!

Lent is awesome. I decided to do a  bajillion small fun things for Lent, which of course resulted in me picking so many things that I can't keep track of them all at the same time. But Lent has still been really awesome; I'm focusing a lot on silence, spiritual reading, Divine Mercy, and doing small sacrifices sporadically throughout my days. 

And, being a good student, my homework is coming along. Slowly, but surely. Because sometimes, paper projects (or non-paper projects) are due right after break. And even though I don't feel like working on these a lot, I've been dedicating myself to them a little at a time. I've also had some chunks of quality time with my thesis, and I'm very excited that I'm about a third of the way through draft 1.5. Because I never finished my first draft completely before I started revising it, ergo, I'm working on an in-between draft. 

I'm also getting pumped about creating an NFP presentation to give for some friends of mine. I am a big-time believer that single women should have opportunities to learn about using NFP to know about their bodies and fertility. So, over break, I'm going to put together a little talk to give after break for some of my female friends. That way, they will have some tools to learn more about themselves and how God made them. 

Oh yes--and one of the best parts of break? WARMTH! Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love snow. But, when the ground has been covered in snow from January onto March, and it's been freezing, even I want the snow to move on. A lot of us have gotten a little stir-crazy on campus, because when it's super cold outside, you're less inclined to want to leave your apartment, dorm, etc. And one of my friends has noted that when the weather is nice, FUS turns into a "Catholic Woodstock," with Frisbees flying, barefoot students traipsing across the grass, students pretending to study as they sit on wooden benches and talk with people walking by, and students sprawled out while strumming their guitars. So...I am very excited and hoping that the warm weather will continue to come and stay for my final two months as a student here. 

I should probably get to some more homeworkish activity before evening Mass. Have a beautiful day! 

Mercy Monday: Praying for the Will of God

A very happy Monday to all of you! 
I hope that y'all are having a blessed start to your week, and that the final days of Ordinary Time are going swimmingly! I have to run off to class in a couple of minutes (to give a paper presentation that I just finished a couple hours ago--senioritis this semester has turned me into a procrastinator! Scary!), so I will leave y'all with a really epic passage from St. Faustina's Diary which I found during Holy Hour yesterday. 

One day, a certain sister came to me and asked me for prayers, telling me that she could no longer stand things as they were. "And so, please pray, Sister." I answered that I would, and I began a novena to The Divine Mercy. I learned that God would give her the grace, but that she again would be dissatisfied when she received it. However, I kept on praying as she had asked me to do. The next day, the same sister came looking for me, and when we again began to talk about the same thing, I told her, "You know, Sister, when we pray, we ought not force the Lord God to give us what we want, but we should rather submit to His holy will." But she thought that what she was asking for was indispensable. Towards the end of the novena, the sister came again and said, "O Sister, the Lord Jesus has given me the grace, but now I am of a different mind. Please pray so that things will somehow be different again." I answered, "Yes, I will pray, but that God's will be done in you, Sister, and not what you want."  (Notebook 5, #1525)


May the joy of Christ fill your heart!

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Advent!

Happy Advent/New Liturgical Year!!!

Coming in with the strains of "People Look East," Nativity figures, and purple everything (candles, vestments, linens), the season of Advent is here (and since "advent" means "arrival", I've seen the "advent of Advent!" haha!)

I've mentioned it before: I love following the Church's liturgical seasons. And Advent is a great season to be in! From an Advent wreath to the Jesse Tree to an "incomplete" creche (Mary and Joseph are quite a ways off from the "stable area," since they have all of Advent to reach Bethlehem), our apartment is looking a lot like Advent. And while I love these different, awesome Advent traditions, there's always a danger in getting too caught up with material preparations. It can be easy to focus on the "checklist" of things to do (for instance, "read the Jesse Tree Scriptures, check; light the wreath, check."), and lose the spirit of the season. Several years ago, I received an awesome Christmas present: "A Monastery Journey to Christmas," a book with very short, prayerful meditations to guide you through Advent and Christmas (actually, the book starts on November 15, but every year I forget and I don't pick it up till Advent starts-woops!). I want to share the reflection from yesterday, because it is particularly helpful in cultivating one's heart to receive the Christ Child at Christmas:

"Instead of escaping into commonplace, superficial early festivities, we must make every effort to keep the true spirit of Advent in the monastery, in the parish, at home, and, if possible, in the workplace. We can sustain the true spirit of Advent by cultivating practices that enhance the temper of the season. Here are some suggestions:

1. Cultivate an attitude of stillness, of silence, an atmosphere of peace and calm within. This, in turn, fosters inner prayer and recollection.

2. Let us think of our Lady, the expectant mother, and reflect on her attitude of midn and heart while she prepared herself to welcome Jesus on Christmas Day...place an icon of the annunciation in a relevant spot at home to remind yourself of the mystery of the Incarnation, and of the unfailing protection of the Theotokos.

3. Make time for reading the Scriptures. God speaks to us through the prophets who announced the coming Messiah...Such a reading feeds our inner journey and is a source of great joy to our souls.

4. Advent has its own music of graceful and profound beauty. We could listen to, or sing, the Gregorian chant melodies of Advent: the hymns, the antiphons, the O Antiphons...other popular hymns can also nurture the Advent spirit of joyful expectancy.

5. Participation in the liturgy, in the sacramental life, and the divine mysteries are sources of grace that serve to increase Christ's presence in all of us.

6. Advent, though quiet and introspective, is not a season of gloom and sadness. Rather, it is full of expectant joy. We may delay putting up the Christmas tree and decorations, but we can replace them with a beautiful and simple Advent wreath with its four candles, each lighted progressively during the four weeks of the celebration. We can pray, read, sing, and eat by the Advent wreath...In the words of the liturgy, we pray: "Come, and deliver us, O Lord. Come, do not delay."

7. In our refectory, a small creche is placed in a prominent place at the start of Advent, but without the statue of the Infant Jesus. A candle next to it is lit during the evening meal. The empty crib in the creche is a constant reminder, in the words of the Christmas antiphon, that "the Eternal Word emptied himself for our sake and became man." It also increased our yearning to see his face on Christmas Eve when just before the singing of the Solemnity's first vespers the Infant Jesus is placed in the creche and the Christmas tree is lit.

8. We must be particularly faithful to praying the daily Angelus--the great prayer of the mystery of the Incarnation.

9. Let us remember the needs of the poor, the lonely, the ages, and those most abandoned...Ironically, the same season that brings celebrations of plenty to many can also mean a time of meager resources for those who find themselves in a bind, often having the difficult choice to make between a warm house or a warm meal.

10. Let us cultivate a grateful heart toward God and toward others...Let us, in Saint Paul's words, remain thankful in all things. Deo gratias!

Finally, if you can still handle more epicness, here's a quotation from St. Faustina's Diary for the week:
"Advent is approaching. I want to prepare my heart for the coming of the Lord Jesus by silence and recollection of spirit, uniting myself with the Most Holy Mother and faithfully imitating Her virtue of silence, by which She found pleasure in the eyes of God Himself. I trust that by Her side, I will persevere in this resolution."
(Notebook 5, 1398)

Mercy Monday: When Life Gets Busy

Happy Monday!!!!!

I hope you are all doing fabulously!!
Since I'm busy writing my thesis, I thought it appropriate to post a quote from St. Faustina's Diary about being busy! No matter how crazy life gets, keep your eyes and heart focused on God!

1                "After Communion today, Jesus told me how much He desires to come to human hearts.  I desire to unite Myself with human souls; My great delight is to unite Myself with souls  Know, My daughter, that when I come to a human heart in Holy Communion, My hands are full of all kinds of graces which I want to give to the soul.  But souls do not even pay any attention to Me; they leave Me to Myself and busy themselves with other things.  Oh, how sad I am that souls do not recognize Love!  They treat Me as a dead object.  I answered Jesus, “O Treasure of my heart, the only object of my love and entire delight of my soul, I want to adore You in my heart as You are adored on the throne of Your eternal glory.  My love wants to make up to You (30) at least in part for the coldness of so great a number of souls.  Jesus, behold my heart which is for You a dwelling place to which no one else has entry.  You alone repose in it as in a beautiful garden."

                  (Notebook 5, #1385)

So There was That One Time when Gianna Jessen Whacked Me on the Leg

Praise God from Whom all Blessings Flow!

So I was going to write my normal "Mercy Monday" blog post yesterday with a quotation from the Diary of St. Faustina, but I didn't have time, because I went to this mega-epic talk. But, as God would have it, the talk only reinforced what I've been reading in the Diary, which is quite wonderful. So without further ado--

Photo courtesy of giannajessen.com

For the past couple weeks, I've been seeing posters around campus for a talk by Gianna Jessen.. I had never heard her speak before, but I knew that she is an abortion survivor and was an inspiration for the movie October Baby. So naturally, I wanted to go. I went in about 20 minutes early, because I love sitting in the front row. Quite a few seats were open, and I sat next to a graduated friend of mine who is back for a visit. I was chatting with her, sipping my hot cocoa (tons of powder AND two packets of coffee creamer=heavenly), when all of a sudden, this woman with bright red lipstick and a huge smile limps up. "Is this seat open?" she asked, pointing to the chair right next to me. It was, and she sat down. So this is cool. I don't know much about this woman, but I bet she's kind of awesome.   Mainly we discussed caffeine, and how we both get really distracted, which led us to discussabout how we struggle getting to things on time because we love talking with random people, which led to us discussing her super cute dress that she got from Modcloth (it had an owl on it, how cool is that? She said "I'm not sure if all the owls have flown away by now, but there might be some left!" Can I just say this woman is so cute?) As she was getting out of her seat to give a talk, she grinned and whacked me on the leg, and said "Hey, stay out of trouble." I started laughing, trying to get out an "I'll try" as she walked up to the stage.

And then she began to speak.

For the next hour and a half-ish, I was either laughing extremely hard or sitting in silence, still, stunned at her profound words. First off, I love the way that Gianna speaks. She's completely unstructured, and just stands up there, speaking from the heart with all the honesty in the world. We heard about her survival of a saline abortion, the days she spent in foster care, the struggles of having cerebral palsy, we prayed for the conversion of the head of ISIS, and we watched the men in the packed room get all William Wallace (she mentioned Braveheart at least four times, which I appreciated). Here is a woman who has suffered (and continues to suffer) complete rejection, physical pain, emotional pain, and abuse-to name a few-but she has complete, overflowing, utter joy, love, and healing! 

Gianna talked about how Jesus isn't a
"cocktail party Jesus," who makes
everyone happy and doesn't talk politics
or stir things up. We have a "Braveheart"
Jesus, who goes into battle!

Seriously, she had us laughing for a large part of the talk, because her joy overflows and affects all those around her. Gianna Jessen has forgiven her mother, and she has found that--though her families are broken and she suffers immensely--she is not defined by the brokenness. She finds her identity in Christ, and she sees the beauty that comes through her suffering. She kept mentioning how her cerebral palsy is a gift; how when people see her limping around, they are more comfortable hearing her talk about Jesus-and if her cerebral palsy can bring just one person to freedom in Christ, she would suffer through everything again. Gianna Jessen has made it onto my very-awesome-people list, because she is epic. A glowing, radiant, joyful, beautiful woman, who challenged us to live our lives adventurously, embracing the impossible (One of my favorite moments was when she said: Men! Do you want to see this country go to hell? If not, stand up and fight!) This woman is all about action. She acknowledged that she's very sensitive and an introvert, but she places her life in the hands of Christ, and is strengthened to to His work.

On household retreat this weekend, we discussed joy in suffering-a topic of my Theology of Healing class as well. We've talked about how joy does not mean happiness; rather, it is an underlying peace, hope, and continual trust in God as we completely submit ourselves to His will. When we accept with patience whatever God sends to us, we experience perfect joy (there's also a really awesome St. Francis of Assisi story about this). Gianna Jessen was bubbling over with joy last night because she has accepted with peace and patience all of the suffering that God has placed in her life. Furthermore, she sees the redemptive value in this suffering, and she takes joy in working to help further God's kingdom. 

As I mentioned earlier, what I've been reading in the Diary of St. Faustina lately has gone right along with this. St. Faustina finds joy in submitting herself to the will of God with peace, even though the sufferings are difficult:

"An act of total abandonment to the will of God, which is for me, love and mercy itself.

Jesus-Host, whom I have this very moment received into my heart, through this union with You I offer myself to the heavenly Father as a sacrificial host, abandoning myself totally and completely to the most merciful and holy will of my God. From today onward, You will, Lord, is my good. Take my whole being; dispose of me as You please. Whatever Your fatherly hand gives me, I will accept with submission, peace and joy. I fear nothing, no matter in what direction You lead me; helped by Your grace I will carry out everything You demand of me. I no longer fear any of Your inspirations nor do I probe anxiously to see where they will lead me. Lead me, O God, along whatever roads You please; I have placed all my trust in Your will which is, for me, love and mercy itself.

Bid me to stay in this convent, I will stay; bid me to undertake the work, I will undertake it; leave me in uncertainty about the work until I die, be blessed; give me death when, humanly speaking, my life seems particularly necessary, be blessed. Should You take me in my youth, be blessed; should You let me live to a ripe old age, be blessed. Sho
uld You give me health and strength, be blessed; should You confine me to a bed of pain for my whole life, be blessed. Should You give only failures and disappointments in life, be blessed. Should You allow my purest intentions to be condemned, be blessed. Should You enlighten my mind, be blessed. Should You leave me in darkness and all kinds of torments, be blessed.

From this moment on, I live in the deepest peace, because the Lord Himself is carrying me in the hollow of His hand. He, Lord of unfathomable mercy, knows that I desire Him alone in all things, always and everywhere."
(Notebook IV, #1264)
(sidenote: as I was typing this passage from the Diary, I was listening to the Doctor Who soundtrack, which just added to the epicness. Sometimes I wish I had a soundtrack playing throughout my life. Actually, sometimes I will have a sountrack in my head while I go throughout my day, and it really is awesome, I recommend it.)

I hope that you all have an abundantly blessed day, and take courage, accepting all that God allows with peaceful submission to His will (a tall order, I know-definitely something I struggle with). By doing God's will with peace, we will grow closer to Him, and bring His light to all around us!

(another sidenote: after the talk, I asked Gianna what her favorite Jane Austen work is, because she had mentioned really liking Austen. It's Mansfield Park, which I've never read, so now I have the urge to read it-so any Austen fans out there, say a prayer for Gianna when you pick up Mansfield Park!)